2014 At One Glance

Today is the last day of 2014. How should I sum up 2014? I have probably experience the best thrilling and the most heartbreaking moments of my life thus far.

2014 has been an amazing journey with lots of ups and downs. Nonetheless, I am very thankful for everything that happened in 2014. Here's a recap of the best moments in 2014:

Although we have broken up in probably one of the worst fashions, being with you was still one of the best things that have happened to me in 2014. I enjoyed the good times that I have spent with you. Thanks for all the love that you have shown. Although it was just a short period of 6 months,, the relationship has taught me many valuable lessons. Although I wish that we could have last forever, I believe everything happens for a reason, you entered my life for a reason and you left my life for a reason. I am not ready to talk to you again. I wished we didn't break up the way we did. I was shocked with what you said and I felt disgusted. But then again, everything happens for a reason.

Nanyang Polytechnic Netball Team was probably one of the most challenging netball team that I am ever in. I have been through the most heartbreaking match ever when we lost by 4 to Temasek Polytechnic during the IVP. I have also been through the most satisfying win ever when we beat Temasek Polytechnic by 12 during the POL-ITE. I have overcome a lot of mental challenges to lead the team into POL-ITE. I doubted my abilities and my capabilities during the the process. I am glad that my teammates and the management gave me the boost to come back stronger. I am glad that everything turned out fine. I am honoured that I am able to inspire my fellow teammates to strive for excellence.

I am falling in love with water sports. I could never imagine myself enjoying water sports but I did! It was definitely a wonderful experience with cave hiking, white water rafting, waterfall abseiling, jetskii and banana boat! And of course, the people made the experience perfect. Life's good!

2014 was probably a test for the friendships. It just seems to have endless challenges. I can't be thankful enough to have all my good buddies who have stayed through these tough times with me. Many of them were there with me through all the challenges. I couldn't ask for better friends than you guys. Thanks for being so patient with me. Thanks for hearing all my rants and yet still always so ever ready to hear my rantings. Thanks for always checking me out. I love those magical moments where you guys were there for me although I didn't ask for it and yet I needed you guys badly. Thank you!

Being in the Dean's List was like a dream coming true. I can't rant enough about how much I hated school. There are so many people to thank for making the school life a much better experience. The lecturers in my course are always so understanding towards my circumstances. They never questioned me instead they trusted me. They never failed to offer a helping hand whenever I felt helpless. I am very thankful for the clinical supervisors who have inspired and guided me during my clinicals. They helped me to see my role in healthcare setting. They helped me to see beyond just working in the industry but I am there to offer a hope for the patients. The SAO have played an important role in helping me to cope with my multiple commitments. I was probably not the best captain but they never discriminate me. They are always so concerned and trusted me to do my jobs. Thank you!

It has been a rollercoaster ride with my family. It just seems like there are endless issues to resolve. However, no one ever gave up on anyone. In fact, my parents were just so understanding. Thank you!

Reality of Fear

You are not scared of dark. You are scared of what's in it.

You are not afraid of heights. You are just afraid of falling.
You are not afraid to show how much you care. You are afraid of rejection.
You are not afraid of love. You are just afraid to accept the reality that they are gone.
Your are not afraid to try again. You are just afraid of failure and of getting hurt again

What's Next?

I don't know what's next for us. I really don't know. We have been in this uncertain state for 1 month plus and counting. I don't know how long more this will last. I also don't know what's the outcome. Things may eventually work out. Things may come to an end. I must admit that I don't like this uncertainty. I am fearful of the less ideal outcome.

Re-finding my philosophy in life

Ever wondered what's the most important things in life? Family, friends, love, religion, dreams, money or other things?

My boyfriend and I were on the verge of ending our relationship due to religion issues. But I thought why not allow myself to understand more about Islam before I finally come to a conclusion without any regret.

I am still not confident of exploring Islam with a fully open mind but I am willing to give it a try and has already started on some readings. This exploration has led me to think about this - What is most important in my life?

I have never really believed in a particular religion before. I am a buddhist by birth but I would not say that I follow all the practices. I feel that my thinking is more towards Christianity. However, I don't feel that I am a Christian. Sometimes, I feel like I am just one of a kind that takes the best practices of all religions. Then I asked myself, is this good enough for me. I am honestly not sure.

If "religion" hasn't exactly been the driving factor (or maybe it is), what has been my driving factor in life? What has brought me through all the difficult times? Who has given me that faith to keep myself going?

Sometimes, I will pray to Buddha to keep my family and I safe. On other occasions, I will ask this "God" to give me answer. I have never who this "God" is. Emm..

Maybe, this "God" was created due to influence from friends. I think that I am pretty exposed to Christianity, given that many of my good friends are Christians.

If I am exposed enough to Islam, will I become a Muslim? Or  any other religion?

What is exactly my religion? What do I actually believe in? Or does it really matter to begin with?

Another Month Went By

It has been a month since last came here.

I am kind of stressed up at the moment yet I have no idea who should I share my feelings with. I probably know who I can share with but I guess the timing is not right to share with them.

The current neurophysiotherapy placement at Changi General Hospital hasn't been a good one. The placement is very different from all the other placements that I had thus far. I am finding myself hard to cope with it. I am not blaming anyone for the shortage of staff that the hospital is facing. However, it does have an impact on the students. It does make me feel very discouraged to be a physiotherapist in the near future.

I am not sure why I am so not motivated for this placement. I find it so difficult to make a point to figure out all the learning issues that are brought up daily. Sometimes, I feel that things are so overwhelmed and not related to the patients that I am seeing. It feels as if I am just learning the theories and I am not able to apply them. This kind of defeat the purpose of a placement.

The combination of the above factors makes me feel demoralised. The worst part of the whole situation was that our feedback was backfired.

I am also having a headache with NYP Netball team. The attendance has been pathetic and the coach hasn't been turning up either. I feel that the whole team is not coming together well physically to play POL-ITE. As a captain, I am not doing much to help with the situation. It is only some weeks away from POL-ITE. What should I do? Speak to the relevant people?

It has been 2 months since I last posted

It has been a long while since I last posted. I having a lot of thoughts in my mind and I would like to have it written (read as typed out) somewhere.

I has a short meetup with Jing Jing which triggered a couple of interesting thoughts. Some of them revolve around the topic of relationship.

We can't deny true love is when you learn to love someone wholeheartedly. It is about finding someone that you are all right with and learning to love the person for who he or she is. In reciprocal, your partner loves you for who you are. This is true love.

However, despite finding the true love, you are not sure if this is God's plan for you.

There are so many things that I love about you. In fact, I love everything about you. I like the way you care for me. I like the way you let me be myself. I like the way you always make me feel special. I like the way you respect me. I like the way you hear me out. I like the way you make adjustment just so we can make the relationship a better one. I like the way you always give your best to me. I like how you always make me your priority within your means.

Most importantly, I know that you are someone that I can rely on for a lifetime. On the other hand, religion is the only obstacle between us...

July is coming!

Time flies (all the time). It has been another crazy month. There have been endless presentations, exams, FYP stuff, meetings, netball trainings and netball games. Sometimes, all these drive me really nuts! 

I miss coaching. This is one of things that I love doing and I hope to do it again soon. The joy of nurturing kids is simply amazing. 

June has been a great month receiving wonderful mails. Thank you guys from all over the world!

Bangkok trip was AWESOME! ^^

Been awhile since I last wrote an entry

I am glad NSL is finally over. It is a huge relieve mentally. It is very different season compared to the previous editions. The learning curve was definitely steep and I am definitely a better player than before. Thank you for the opportunities!

ENL next. ENL started two days ago. My aim is to have fun and always give me best.

School has been CRAZY! I am trying to catch up on my work. I know I can do it! Go, Mui!

Thank you everyone for making my birthday a special one! Thank you very much! I love you guys!

Happy Girl

It feels awesome to know that people understand you :)

Life Has Been Good!

It has been some time since I last posted. I will make it up by having more post in April!

Clinical Education ended in March. It was a great experience. I am definitely more well equipped with skills to diagnose and treat patients with MS issues.

NSL started on 22 Mar. This is definitely not the best way to start the season. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." I can't agree more. I am still learning and working hard with the team for this season. Keep going strong Mui!

It is nice to be back in umpiring. I have umpired zonal primary school tournaments and National B and C Div tournaments as well. I like the easy pace that I am taking up assignments. I feel that after a long break, I have more self awareness in umpiring. I am able to correct myself.

I have left Juying Sec. It was probably one of the toughest decisions to make. It is nice to follow through with my first batch of students. Their growth is priceless to me. It makes all the hard work and efforts worthwhile. Unfortunately, academic is catching up with me and I needed more time.

The result for this semester surprised me. I have a distinction for Cardiopulmonary 1B! This is my first ever distinction. I didn't have C+ or C. I am happy with the results. This has proven to me that hard work pay off. Keep it up, Mui! Of course, I need to give credits to people who have helped me.