2014 At One Glance

Today is the last day of 2014. How should I sum up 2014? I have probably experience the best thrilling and the most heartbreaking moments of my life thus far.

2014 has been an amazing journey with lots of ups and downs. Nonetheless, I am very thankful for everything that happened in 2014. Here's a recap of the best moments in 2014:

Although we have broken up in probably one of the worst fashions, being with you was still one of the best things that have happened to me in 2014. I enjoyed the good times that I have spent with you. Thanks for all the love that you have shown. Although it was just a short period of 6 months,, the relationship has taught me many valuable lessons. Although I wish that we could have last forever, I believe everything happens for a reason, you entered my life for a reason and you left my life for a reason. I am not ready to talk to you again. I wished we didn't break up the way we did. I was shocked with what you said and I felt disgusted. But then again, everything happens for a reason.

Nanyang Polytechnic Netball Team was probably one of the most challenging netball team that I am ever in. I have been through the most heartbreaking match ever when we lost by 4 to Temasek Polytechnic during the IVP. I have also been through the most satisfying win ever when we beat Temasek Polytechnic by 12 during the POL-ITE. I have overcome a lot of mental challenges to lead the team into POL-ITE. I doubted my abilities and my capabilities during the the process. I am glad that my teammates and the management gave me the boost to come back stronger. I am glad that everything turned out fine. I am honoured that I am able to inspire my fellow teammates to strive for excellence.

I am falling in love with water sports. I could never imagine myself enjoying water sports but I did! It was definitely a wonderful experience with cave hiking, white water rafting, waterfall abseiling, jetskii and banana boat! And of course, the people made the experience perfect. Life's good!

2014 was probably a test for the friendships. It just seems to have endless challenges. I can't be thankful enough to have all my good buddies who have stayed through these tough times with me. Many of them were there with me through all the challenges. I couldn't ask for better friends than you guys. Thanks for being so patient with me. Thanks for hearing all my rants and yet still always so ever ready to hear my rantings. Thanks for always checking me out. I love those magical moments where you guys were there for me although I didn't ask for it and yet I needed you guys badly. Thank you!

Being in the Dean's List was like a dream coming true. I can't rant enough about how much I hated school. There are so many people to thank for making the school life a much better experience. The lecturers in my course are always so understanding towards my circumstances. They never questioned me instead they trusted me. They never failed to offer a helping hand whenever I felt helpless. I am very thankful for the clinical supervisors who have inspired and guided me during my clinicals. They helped me to see my role in healthcare setting. They helped me to see beyond just working in the industry but I am there to offer a hope for the patients. The SAO have played an important role in helping me to cope with my multiple commitments. I was probably not the best captain but they never discriminate me. They are always so concerned and trusted me to do my jobs. Thank you!

It has been a rollercoaster ride with my family. It just seems like there are endless issues to resolve. However, no one ever gave up on anyone. In fact, my parents were just so understanding. Thank you!

Reality of Fear

You are not scared of dark. You are scared of what's in it.

You are not afraid of heights. You are just afraid of falling.
You are not afraid to show how much you care. You are afraid of rejection.
You are not afraid of love. You are just afraid to accept the reality that they are gone.
Your are not afraid to try again. You are just afraid of failure and of getting hurt again

What's Next?

I don't know what's next for us. I really don't know. We have been in this uncertain state for 1 month plus and counting. I don't know how long more this will last. I also don't know what's the outcome. Things may eventually work out. Things may come to an end. I must admit that I don't like this uncertainty. I am fearful of the less ideal outcome.

Re-finding my philosophy in life

Ever wondered what's the most important things in life? Family, friends, love, religion, dreams, money or other things?

My boyfriend and I were on the verge of ending our relationship due to religion issues. But I thought why not allow myself to understand more about Islam before I finally come to a conclusion without any regret.

I am still not confident of exploring Islam with a fully open mind but I am willing to give it a try and has already started on some readings. This exploration has led me to think about this - What is most important in my life?

I have never really believed in a particular religion before. I am a buddhist by birth but I would not say that I follow all the practices. I feel that my thinking is more towards Christianity. However, I don't feel that I am a Christian. Sometimes, I feel like I am just one of a kind that takes the best practices of all religions. Then I asked myself, is this good enough for me. I am honestly not sure.

If "religion" hasn't exactly been the driving factor (or maybe it is), what has been my driving factor in life? What has brought me through all the difficult times? Who has given me that faith to keep myself going?

Sometimes, I will pray to Buddha to keep my family and I safe. On other occasions, I will ask this "God" to give me answer. I have never who this "God" is. Emm..

Maybe, this "God" was created due to influence from friends. I think that I am pretty exposed to Christianity, given that many of my good friends are Christians.

If I am exposed enough to Islam, will I become a Muslim? Or  any other religion?

What is exactly my religion? What do I actually believe in? Or does it really matter to begin with?

Another Month Went By

It has been a month since last came here.

I am kind of stressed up at the moment yet I have no idea who should I share my feelings with. I probably know who I can share with but I guess the timing is not right to share with them.

The current neurophysiotherapy placement at Changi General Hospital hasn't been a good one. The placement is very different from all the other placements that I had thus far. I am finding myself hard to cope with it. I am not blaming anyone for the shortage of staff that the hospital is facing. However, it does have an impact on the students. It does make me feel very discouraged to be a physiotherapist in the near future.

I am not sure why I am so not motivated for this placement. I find it so difficult to make a point to figure out all the learning issues that are brought up daily. Sometimes, I feel that things are so overwhelmed and not related to the patients that I am seeing. It feels as if I am just learning the theories and I am not able to apply them. This kind of defeat the purpose of a placement.

The combination of the above factors makes me feel demoralised. The worst part of the whole situation was that our feedback was backfired.

I am also having a headache with NYP Netball team. The attendance has been pathetic and the coach hasn't been turning up either. I feel that the whole team is not coming together well physically to play POL-ITE. As a captain, I am not doing much to help with the situation. It is only some weeks away from POL-ITE. What should I do? Speak to the relevant people?

It has been 2 months since I last posted

It has been a long while since I last posted. I having a lot of thoughts in my mind and I would like to have it written (read as typed out) somewhere.

I has a short meetup with Jing Jing which triggered a couple of interesting thoughts. Some of them revolve around the topic of relationship.

We can't deny true love is when you learn to love someone wholeheartedly. It is about finding someone that you are all right with and learning to love the person for who he or she is. In reciprocal, your partner loves you for who you are. This is true love.

However, despite finding the true love, you are not sure if this is God's plan for you.

There are so many things that I love about you. In fact, I love everything about you. I like the way you care for me. I like the way you let me be myself. I like the way you always make me feel special. I like the way you respect me. I like the way you hear me out. I like the way you make adjustment just so we can make the relationship a better one. I like the way you always give your best to me. I like how you always make me your priority within your means.

Most importantly, I know that you are someone that I can rely on for a lifetime. On the other hand, religion is the only obstacle between us...

July is coming!

Time flies (all the time). It has been another crazy month. There have been endless presentations, exams, FYP stuff, meetings, netball trainings and netball games. Sometimes, all these drive me really nuts! 

I miss coaching. This is one of things that I love doing and I hope to do it again soon. The joy of nurturing kids is simply amazing. 

June has been a great month receiving wonderful mails. Thank you guys from all over the world!

Bangkok trip was AWESOME! ^^

Been awhile since I last wrote an entry

I am glad NSL is finally over. It is a huge relieve mentally. It is very different season compared to the previous editions. The learning curve was definitely steep and I am definitely a better player than before. Thank you for the opportunities!

ENL next. ENL started two days ago. My aim is to have fun and always give me best.

School has been CRAZY! I am trying to catch up on my work. I know I can do it! Go, Mui!

Thank you everyone for making my birthday a special one! Thank you very much! I love you guys!

Happy Girl

It feels awesome to know that people understand you :)

Life Has Been Good!

It has been some time since I last posted. I will make it up by having more post in April!

Clinical Education ended in March. It was a great experience. I am definitely more well equipped with skills to diagnose and treat patients with MS issues.

NSL started on 22 Mar. This is definitely not the best way to start the season. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." I can't agree more. I am still learning and working hard with the team for this season. Keep going strong Mui!

It is nice to be back in umpiring. I have umpired zonal primary school tournaments and National B and C Div tournaments as well. I like the easy pace that I am taking up assignments. I feel that after a long break, I have more self awareness in umpiring. I am able to correct myself.

I have left Juying Sec. It was probably one of the toughest decisions to make. It is nice to follow through with my first batch of students. Their growth is priceless to me. It makes all the hard work and efforts worthwhile. Unfortunately, academic is catching up with me and I needed more time.

The result for this semester surprised me. I have a distinction for Cardiopulmonary 1B! This is my first ever distinction. I didn't have C+ or C. I am happy with the results. This has proven to me that hard work pay off. Keep it up, Mui! Of course, I need to give credits to people who have helped me.

Exams and Attachment

It is almost 2 months into 2014. Busy buzzy life. The craziness does drive me to my limits. The week before Chinese New Year was probably the most crazy week. I was preparing for exams, CNY, coaching and other netball stuffs. As always, I hate such lifestyle.

I am just glad that I pull through the exams. I am currently attached to Khoo Teck Puat Hospital Outpatient General rehab. It is probably not my cup of tea. I don't like the pace. The working hours is insane. Everyone works minimally 8am-5.30pm. It is like telling your patients work-life balance when it is never possible for the healthcare workers.

It has been a tiring first week, juggling both attachment and netball trainings. I am not at my best form for both. I had a good rest over the weekend. I will make this a better week! Go, Mui!

It was only a dream.

My happiest moments of life are being able to be have fun with people. I miss travelling badly. Those days were and have always been my best memories of my life. Netball memories are always the best too. Of course, time spent with family are the best.

I hate reality because people are cruel. I have previously posted about the cruel reality in my course/school.
I hate having to live in moments that don't involve netball, travelling or family. I have been to many other industries, workplaces and met all sort of people (well, maybe not). The truth is people don't care about you beyond the 3 groups of people I love to interact with.

Someone said to me, "I don't understand why you are so crazy over netball." I have tried to explain multiple times. The person just couldn't understand simply because she can't understand the value of people and relationship, at least in my opinion.

I hope to go back to those days where I will be at netball, travelling or spending time with family only!

Hello 2014!

It has been a busy and fruitful January.

It has been two short weeks back to school and exams are coming next week. It is indeed a really fast second half of second semester.

IVP has just gone by so quickly. We lost to TP 34-36. To be honest, I am glad we lost the game because I gained a team who is ready to fight ever harder. "The best way to unite a team is to have a common enemy." It is true, isn't it? Having say this, we really need to put in a lot of hard work as 6 year 3 are graduating from the current team.

I made it to Marlins NSL team. It will be a challenging journey ahead. With hard work, everything will be okay.

There will be more netball actions coming up in the next few weeks with zonal tournament starting for my students and NSL training starting.

Jia you, Mui!

Achievements in 2013

Daisy Tan Carnival (Marlins Air) - 4th
Surf n Sweat (Frenz) - 1st
Beach Netball (Frenz) - 1st
Mixed Social League (Frenz) - 1st
Katana Netball Carnival (Cookie Monster) - 2nd
Moulmein Netball Carnival (Elmo) - 2nd
Community Games / Netball (Wowberries) - 1st
Community Games / Basketball (Helltics) - 2nd
SunNUS (Frenz) - 1st
Ulu Pandan Carnival (Frenz) - 2nd
Netballuxion/Women (Frenz) - 3rd
Netballuxion/Mixed (Big Bird) - 1st
ENL/Mixed Club A (Frenz) - 2nd
ENL/Women Div 1 - 1st
POL-ITE - 3rd
Pesta Sukan/Mixed (Frenz) - 3rd
Pesta Sukan/Women (Marlins) - 1st
Infinity Carnival (Exalt) - Plate 2nd
Bali Flames Invitational (Just4Fun) - 3rd
Tampines West GRC Carnival (Powerpuff Gals) - 3rd
RP-Sembawang GRC Carnival (Gorgeous) - 1st

The Truth

I have yet to find the motivation to get me to be more involved in my course. In fact, I am not quite interested to ask for more from myself. I am not motivated to do well in the course. It feels like a useless course to me. I am carrying on with course simply because it is mandatory.

I know I need to be diligent, be interested, be inspired that my profession will help a lot of people and be well versed with the facts of all the modules. However, I am simply not interested nor inspired to be a physiotherapist. There are many reasons behind it.

The education system has made learning lifeless. It is all about know the facts, not about problem solving. We are probably no different from China's education where everyone is busy memorising the facts and does nothing else.

Result is the most important indicator of your success. Everyone focused on the result and not the learning process. If you do not score an A/B, you are deemed as an useless student who has chosen to be stupid. And you will be a great physiotherapist if you are in the Dean's list. I don't deny that result reflects your learning and your ability to comprehend facts. However, way too much focus has been placed on the result that no one cares about your learning.

No one cares about you. When everyone is so concerned with their results, no one has time to care for you. If you meet any difficulties, you are left to rot. I don't blame my friends nor my lecturers for being practical as the society has shaped them to be this.

Everyone believes that life revolves around studies if you different, you are thought to be a fool. As everyone is devoted to scoring A and thus, do not have any time to care for you, the narrow-minded folks will believe that it is stupid and silly to do anything beyond studies. In their opinion, 'work-life balance' is the stupidest phase. We then start chatting about life on different frequency. A strained friendship is usually the end result.

The above factors have distanced me from learning. No one understands all these. No one understands why I value fun learning more than the result. No one understands why I am feeling lonely. No one understands why I hate studying so much now.

Everyone only understands that by getting a diploma, it will get me a job with decent pay. Everyone only sees that I am a lazy person who refuses to be diligent. Everyone thinks that playing sports is silly, result is more important. Everyone thinks that I will fail.

What a year thus far!

Sometimes, I see how God is trying so hard to make me appreciate my course.

If it is not okay, it is not over. Work hard.

I went to look for my lecturer, Claudia, for help with regards to my shoulder issues. Well... Like any other physiotherapists I have met, I was grilled. It was more of a student-lecturer interaction than patient-therapist interaction. It was STRESSFUL. I didn't quite like it.

Despite the unpleasant session, my shoulder feels a lot better. I am determined to work hard. I HATE the feeling of being looked down.

Clinical attachment started 3 days ago. I thought the grilling session at Claudia's place was bad but the attachment was worse. I have never felt so incompetent.

I am quite discouraged on the first day. I could have made the choice to leave the course and do something else. Thus, having a negative mindset coupled with pressure from my supervisor, I felt really lousy and overwhelmed.

I am in the paediatrics department. It saddened me to see infants and adolescents who are born with diseases, deformity or genetic issues. I thought to myself that no matter what we do, the kids will never be perfect. They will only struggle in the future in our competitive society.

Today, I saw a DMD 30 years old patient. He inspired me. 30 years old is considered a long life-span for a DMD patient. Despite the challenges he faces in daily life, he continued to be a useful person and contributes to the society in every way he could. My profession helps to prolong his life and decrease his chances of infections.

I come to realise that my profession cannot make someone perfect. However, we can help to improve their quality of life and assist them to contribute the society in whichever ways they would like to.

Mui, it is not over yet.

November

Time flies. It is already November! 2014 is coming!

School is going into the fifth week and things are getting hectic and crazy. Despite the packed academic schedule, things are starting to look good too. I guess the turning point is my attitude towards things.I have learnt how to let go things faster than I used to. I have also learnt to begin every judgement with a positive view. It makes life A LOT easier and I handle less troubles.

Clinical 2B is starting soon. Everything will be great! :)

September - The Month Of Traveling

I have traveled 23 days as of this moment. I first went to Taiwan where I was welcomed by the warmth and the friendliness of the locals. Then, I flew to Australia on 21 Sep where I was welcomed by lovely weather.

Taiwan has been a great and fun trip with my fellow netballer, Jia En. We have explored so many places!

Here's the list of places that we have been to: Seven Stars Bay, Taroko Gauge, Hengchun Ancient Town, Chu Huo, Ah Jia De Jia (Hai Jiao No. 7), Mao Bi Tou, Hou Bi Hu, Bai Sha, Wu Shan Ding Mud Volcano, Dream Mall, Art Pier 2 Area, Qing Liang Farm, Monster Village, Carton King, Swiss Garden, Cing Jing Farm, Miniature Museum, Shi Lin Night Market, Xi Men Ding, Bei Tou, Dan Shui, Zhong Xiao East Road.

After a short break in Singapore where I attended a course and catch up with my family, I flew off to Sydney for 6 days before heading to Brisbane.

Here are the places that I have visited: Royal Botanic Garden, Manly beach, SeaLife Aquarium, Madame Tussaud, Sydney Fish Market, Taronga Zoo, Bondi Beach, Bronte Beach, Powerhouse Museum, Sydney Tower (with a sky walk), The Grounds @ Alexandria

I am currently in Brisbane. Heading for a nap now to relax and will be heading out for a run along the Brisbane river in awhile :)

Thanks for all the love thus far! Nice meeting all the people that I have come into thus far! Off to Gold Coast at 5am tomorrow!

Training for this week

Monday: 400D, 100S X 3 sets (Skipping)
Tuesday: 5km run 32:13
Wednesday: Hamstring Raises 6 reps X 2sets (single leg)
Thursday: 100m bs X 10, 50m bs, 50m fs X 10 (SWIM), 25m x 8 water running, 25m x 4 side step in water