Wahaha! It's 400th post! Been posting entries for 2 years.. the other day was reading all the entries I wrote for the past 2 years. Well, as you can see, I think I have changed over time. Be it the style I have for writing an entry or myself. I have grown, haven't I? hehe..

Okay, my hands are not "feeling well". They are suffering from depression. haha! The number of hours that I am spending on Netball has reduced. Before these few months, I have 8-10 hours of training each week. Currently, I am training 4 hours or less each week. And I can't increase the number of hours to be spent on training due to the upcoming exams. okay, I shall just tolerate with it.

Oh yes, 3rd ASEAN Schools Netball Championship has started yesterday. Over the weekend, the participating countries will be putting up their best performance to fight for a place in the finals which will be held on monday at Toa Payoh Sports Hall. Sadly, I can't make it for the finals. The game will commence at 10.30am.

All right, shall stop here.

50 questions to boggle the mind in your past.
1. First off, what's your name?
Chan Hui Mui

2. Okay, but what does your best
friend/s call you?
HM, Hui Mui, Hui Mei

3. Have you ever kissed someone with
braces?
No..

4. Who is the fourth received call on
your call log?
Some unknown numbers..

5.If you could change your eye color
what would it be?
I love my present eye colours

6. What is the wallpaper on your
phone?
a photo taken at St John Island

7. How many pillows on your bed?
1

8. Who was the last text message you
sent to?
Michelle Ng

9. What color is your shirt right now?
white

10. What was the best thing that
happened to you last year?
I think every part of my life is the best thing that ever happened to me

11. nabura ni pilo ung #11
ehh..?????

12. Who's the fourth person on your
contacts list?
Alison

13. When was the last time you cried
from laughing so hard?
Not too sure if this ever happened to me

14. What school did you attend in
elementary?
Bukit View Primary School

15.do you have a crusshh?
Use to have

16. Who was the last person that made
you laugh really hard?
Isabel.. The cane story..

17. Do you like Quiznos?
??????

18. Who do you make fun of the most at
school?
Hui Juan, I think..

19. What's the longest time you've
ever talked on the phone?
4 to 5 hours.. that's the longest my phone could last..

20. Do you think you've gotten more
handsome/pretty since grade school?
i think this is not for me to judge..

21. Have you seen your bestfriend
cry?
yes and no.. lol..

23. Do you dance in the car?
maybe when I am younger, I think

24. What do you think of hunting and
fishing?
I love them!

25. Do you and your bestfriend act
alike?
At times..

26. What is a noise that you cannot
stand?
Naggings

27. Does your mom vacuum early in
the morning, when you're sleeping?
no, she doesn't

28. Are your parents in love?
I think so..

29: What does your 9th txt say?
emmm???

30: Who sent it?
N.A

31. Would you rather sleep at a
friend's or have them over?
at the moment.. none..

32. When was the last time you wrote
a note, and to who?
Can't remember..

33.are you in love?
no..

34. who do you miss most?
everyone from Japan, everyone from the netball teams, everyone from BVPS, everyone around me..

35. What do you smell like right now?
fresh air..

36. Do you have a hard time admitting
you're wrong?
at times..

37. Who was the last person you held
hands with?
no idea..

38. What shoes did you wear today?
my school shoes..

39. What makes you lose your
appetite?
excitement, nervousness, sadness

40. What color is your laundry
basket?
my family does not own one.

41. Last person you kissed?
my mum..

43. Do you own any Levi pants/jeans?
no..

44. Do you think those stores are too
?

45. How do you like your steak?
never tried before

46. Who's in your house right now?
my mum and I

47. Where did you get your last
bruise from?
while playing powerball last monday

48. Where did you last go out to eat?
IMM's Hong Kong Resaturant.

49. List three things that keeps you
going in life.
everything..

50. Is there someone you can't stop
thinking about?
no.

I am feeling tired now.

I think I have wasted a day of my life. I feel that I have done nothing and simply wasted my time today. What an unproductive day!

Night Study Programme has started!

I have made an important desicion. Please don't ask me if I have made the right desicion. Honestly, I don't know.

Have been discussing with my parents about my future for the past few days. Well, and seriously, I have no idea what I am going to do in the future, As in, 100% I would dive for that career.

Em.. come to think of my future, it seems so scary! Earning money, spending money on everything that costs money, worrying about if there's enough money to live through the days. HA! my future seems to be surrounded with money and only money. But, come to think of that, isn't it true? We are constantly worrying about our lifes with money, aren't we? emm..

Life oh life.. how is my life going to be 20 years down the road? where would I be heading to after graduating? what would I be doing when I am an adult? what would my life be consist of in the future?

What's my next step?

Out of nowhere, I am missing one of my friends. Strange! Not that I have not seen this friend for very long. But, I just miss this friend.. haha!

Ok, I am being strange. I am not refering to the above matter. But, I am really strange. I can cry for no reason. All of a sudden, I would feel guilty. My brain isn't controlling my emotions well.

Anyway, how's my new drawing on the left handside of your screen?

Photos taken on 8th August @ Botanic Garden.. =)
Me, Pei Yun and Li Ling..
Walking into the Orchid Garden..
The road that we didn't get to walk.. -_-
Fairy Orchid?
The orchid..

*random*
Love the orchids!
Purposely taken! haha!
10 years ago.. this was white in colour!!!
another road..

Me and the nature..

My dearest Chinese Teacher..
Two teachers who accompanied my class and another class..
Me and Isabel!

Naughty Syahirah!
Mdm Chan and I!
Me, Pei Yun, Penny and Mdm Chan
Li Ling (Ong) and I..
Penny, Sandra, Me,Pei Yun and Li Ling (Anti-clockwise)

Me, Hui Ting and Ling Yun..
Me and Charmaine!
Me and Cadmon..
The couple and I..!
Me and Christine!!

*random*
Look at the naughty Sarah..! haha!
From left.. Seok Ting, Me, Kia Joo, Sarah..
After knowing this lady for 3 years, first time take photo with her in school. -_-
It's us!
The last photo..

When everything goes wrong, what's there left to move me on...

A thought hit me.. Why am I carrying on to my life now..? What's the point going through all the suffering and facing the cruel reality when everything could just end the next second?

I know that's what life is all about. Life is all about overcoming challenges.. Just like playing netball.. overcoming all the pressure your opponent gives you and put in the shot. But, what if you don't see the point of playing the game?

What comes next? I don't know I really don't know..

do you know what come next..?

Happy Birthday to a few poeple out there! Firstly, Marianne. Secondly, Eng Chuan and followed by Daisy..

Hey, the 3 of them are 1 year older.. lolx.. =P 1 year mature?? don't know.. ha!

------------------
3 bad games in 3 consecutive days.. HAIZ.. I have really got to buck up and pull up my socks!! Well, but the thing now is to settle down and refresh myself for the upcoming challenges..
---------------------

A new skin is out.. didn't change much other than the colours and background..

you understand how I feel?

how's my drawing? I feel that not really the best drawing yet.. there will be more coming! =)

2. Have you ever seen your best friend
cry?
- Yes and no..

3. What kind of vitamins did you take as a kid?
-both syrups and tablets


4. What is the last thing you ate?
- my dinner which consist of rice, vegetable and meat.. (healthy? haha)

5. Did you get any compliments today?
- yes.. =D

6. Have you ever gone to court?
- No.. But I do go on netball court.. (lame! lol)


7. Whats the seventh text message in your inbox say?by who?
- lol. thanks :) (and more).. by Marianne

8. Are you friends with your neighbors?
- Some


11. What cities have you lived in?
- Singapore!

12. What's the last piercing you got?
- Ear... =)

13. When was the last time you drove more than 15 minutes?
- in 2 years time.. =P

15. Have you ever thrown up from drinking?
- Nah..

16. Do you get jealous easily?
- Depends on what's the matter.. =)

17. When you get jealous, do you make the other person jealous as well?
-Depends on the situation but most of time not..

18. Have you ever played Spin the
Bottle?
- (huh?)

19. Toilet papered someones house?
-Nah! I love trees!! haha..

20. Have you ever had a crush on your brother or sister's friends?
- Nope.. cos I only have brothers..

21.Have you ever gone to a beach?
- Yup. I love seasides!

23. Do you remember your music teacher's name from elementary school?
- Yes and no! Miss Tan and another teacher whome I have forgotten..

24. How good is your eyesight?
- Without specs, I am partially blind.. With specs on, PERFECT EYESIGHT!

25. Would you ever want to swim with the sharks?
- Maybe.. It would be challenging!

26. What would you say if I told you I was in love with your brother?
- which one are you refering to? (haha)

28. Have you ever been out of your country?
- YES!!! lol.. =)

29. Have you seen your best friend(s) naked?
- no.

30. What's the best wedding you've been to ?
- Can't remember..

31. Would your parents be mad if you got arrested for fighting?
- yes.

32. Where are your siblings right now?
- one is in the camp, and the other in school? haha, no idea actually..

33. Do you have a Honda, Toyota or Nissan?
- in 2 years time, if possible..

34. What's the last dream you can remember?
- my mind is not working now..

35. Who was the last person to call you?
- my mum..

36. What time did you wake up this morning?
- 6.00am

37. What are you doing this weekend?
- refresh myself for the upcoming challenges..

39. Do you drunk dial/text?
- (huh?)

40. When was the last time you were
really sick?
- months back.. but I have fallen ill and currently my cough isn't showing signs of improvment..

42. What's in your back pocket?
- the current pair of shorts that I am wearing does not have a back pocket..

44. Do you want to be married right now?
- nah..

45. Do you wear colored contacts lense?
- no

46. How do you get to school?
- either my dad fetch me to school or I would have to walk..

47. What were you doing at 4am this morning?
- asleep?

48. What do you usually do first in the morning?
- trying hard to get out of my dream..

49. Do you know anybody in the Army?
- my brother.. haha!

50. Who was the last person you went to the movies with?
- Merina..

I am crossed about certain matters. I felt fustrated. I am hoping for something and someone. I felt remorseful. I am in a dilemma. I am demoralised.

Well, obviously what happened yesterday affected me really badly. POP is canncelled and I am really fustrated over this. The games played yesterday were really terrible. My shooting accuracy was low. I think it was probably about 40 to 50% only.

I dislike making decision. I am in a dilemma of whether to go for the application or not.

Truly, I hate playing with hooligans and gangsters! But, oh well..

I would like to apologize to Joyce, Valerie and Calista. I am so sorry for commiting such mistakes..

I feel like isolating myself..

Thoughts are simply running through my mind..


What would have happened if I didn't experience what I have experienced? What would happened if I hadn't enter Hillgrove Sec Sch? What would I have become if I didn't know you, you, you, you and many you? How would I have lead my life if I didn't played netball and joined NPCC?

What would the world be like if things were going at a slower paste? What would the world be like if there weren't so many rules and regulations?

I wondered..

Life is just like putting in a shot into the net.

A goal may determine a champion and a loser

When you miss a shot, if you are lucky enough, you get the rebound and shoot again. However, what if you don't get the rebound and you never get to have the ball in your hands again? as after missing the shot, time up?

Sometimes, life is just as what is demostrated. Sometimes, we are never given the second chance. And, by missing the first chance that was given, we may just got to pay for the serious consequences.

Treasure everything...

if only i was given another chance, i will not let it slip away from my hand again. i will put in my best. i will give in the best i can... but will i ever get to smell the second chance again?

今天的心情实在遭透了。

今天在球场上的表现，简直差之又差。射球的准决度低之又低。配合度也很差. 我们根本无法打出一场有水准的球赛．现在要说对不起已经太迟了．或许现在唯一我能做的事是好好练习射球吧．加油！

另一件让我心情不好的事是学生警察的毕业典礼．我不愿多谈．因为一切已经借宿了．

走着走着，不知不觉，迷失了方向。不知下一步该走哪儿好。有谁会带我走下一步呢？还是，我应该靠自己哪？

但，此时此刻，应害怕黑暗，应害怕结果，应害怕所有所有的东西，我害怕走下一步。见不到曙光地走，我会带我自己到哪儿呢？

我是否面临绝望呢？

My cough and flu are getting nowhere. I am so sorry Hui Juan. She can't take it, the way people blow their nose and cough but I am so sorry. Nowadays, papers after papers. She has to tolerate all my actions throughout all the exams and tests. Buddy, so sorry..

haha!

Has been down for a week already. -_= Let's pray hard that I will be able to recover as soon as possible!

Yesterday was kind of bad day for me. Been running to the washroom. I think I have eaten something wrong. -_-

我还能撑下去吗？若能的话，我又能撑多久呢？

为何你在我家门前挖了一个洞？你害我跌了进去却到如今还没有把我救上来. 每当我想爬起来时, 泥沙却往下沉. 我还能撑下去吗? 你会回来拉我一把吗?

Ever accuse once wrongly before?

Ever being accused wrongly before?

How was the feeling like? Fustrated? Embarrassed? Furious? Livid? Irritated?

Sometimes, in life, "rules", "thinkings" are set for us without us realising. Most of the time, we tend to accept the "rules" and "thinkings" unconciously. This tends to limit us from going for the exceptions, going for the right truth. However, there are people who are exceptions. I truly admire people who go out of their "normal" circle, pursue exceptions and look for real truth.

Let's take a simple incident that happened to me. I remember quite some time back. Someone told me this, "Hey! You actually fall in love with someone!" My friend wasn't joking with what she said. She meant it.

Well, I was well known for being a busy student. I was somehow known as a more "hard-hearted" person. I had a more boyish character and as most people know, I have 2 CCAs, I am a student councillor and I am also a sportsleader. At times, I had some rare opportunities to experience different environment and interact with people from different background. More often than not, I was thought as a student who is busier than a teacher. Where on Earth would I have time for things that are out of my academic school life? But, well, in actual fact, the story was different.

This was just a simple example where there wasn't much consequence seen.

In some situations, when we failed to go for exceptions. There are some heavy consequences that we may have to be responsible of.

Let's take examples of certain discimination comments. For example, XXX(a group of people) are bad people. (It isn't convenient for me to have a precise example) Well, is it true that everyone in that group are bad people? I truly believe that it is not true. Who knows, a few people are forced to join that group under certain circumstances that we failed to understand. Yet, these people are treated badly like how the rest were treated.

Another good example which often appear in dramas would be police catching the wrong thief. One has committed a crime before. When something went wrong and happened that he was around, he would be caught and the name of thief was put over him even though he wasn't the thief already. In real life, we are "police" at times, aren't we? Sometimes, didn't we tend to put on stereotype thinkings over people? Sometimes, didn't we do what the police did in the dramas?

In life, "rules" set for us have already given us a general picture of how everything works. Typical thinkings have resticted us from pursuing the "actual truth".

Sometimes, we may just be too afraid to pursue for the exceptions. Sometimes, we may just be covered with stereotype thinkings that we failed to allow our thinking waves to be active in our brain.

I understand that it can be quite difficult to go for the different. Even I, myself at times jumped to conclusions to certain matters due to certain "rules" and certain "thinkings" and failed to know the truth that should be truth. At times, I have to pay for my wrong judgement. But, I think we should try to go for the different, go for the exceptions, go for the "actual" truth. I think a good way to go for the different, exceptions and real truth would be to clarify things.

People around me are aware that I hardly believe in what I heard. I only believe with what my heart and eyes see. Well, there are people who are irritated with what I always do to clarify certain matters. However, I hope you guys will understand.

I think another good way would be understand every detail of the situation. I think this would help to minimize wrong judgement.

However, afterall, we are humans. We will make mistakes.

歌曲：爱是个坏东西
歌手：萧亚轩

刚刚才开始下雨
心不在焉的想起你
闯了一个红灯
都是因为你
路上特别干净
学你做个深呼吸
就是那种调调
教人丢不开
挥不去

爱是个坏东西
不爱你又觉得太可惜
那些自由的口气
到现在已经不灵
爱是个坏东西
让我变的爱笑爱哭泣
早知道太好奇
总难免会伤到自己

夜里不适合想你
我可不想睡不着
把自己搞的神经兮兮
然后再来怪你
我试着提醒自己
和你不过朋友而已
就是那样的距离
教人受不了
等不及
爱是个坏东西
不爱你又觉得对不起
最怕麻烦的事情
到头来呼天不应
爱是个坏东西
让我歇斯底里像生病
早知道太自信
总难免会输掉自己

我关掉了电视机
关掉了电话录音
关掉了电灯
也关掉了你
爱是个坏东西
不爱你又觉得太可惜
那些自由的口气
到现在已经不灵
爱是个坏东西
让我变的爱笑爱哭泣
早知道太好奇
总难免会伤到自己
爱是个坏东西
不爱你又觉得对不起
最怕麻烦的事情
到头来呼天不应
爱是个坏东西
让我歇斯底里像生病
早知道太自信
总难免会输掉自己

昨天才想忘记你
漫不经心又想起你
打翻了手中咖啡
还是因为你
心情特别安静
学你做个深呼吸
就是那种气息
教人逃不开
挥不去

Keeping quiet about certain issues NEVER means I have agreed with you.

Something really made me to almost blow up my temper. Ya, ALMOST!

What's the matter with pursuing a passion? What's the matter with playing in tournaments? What's the matter with playing netball this year? What are the problems with it?

All right, I understand that you are worried for my result. I am really grateful for that you are concerned about me. However, telling me to stop playing netball FOR LIFE, this would simply be asking me to commit suicide. Let me say out LOUD, I would rather die than stop playing netball forever.

I always wonder why didn't you ask me why am I so committed to Netball. Why didn't you ask me why am I so willingly to give my life to netball? Why didn't you ask me what have I lose and gain from netball? Why do always just ask me to stop playing Netball without asking me those questions?

You told me to take up jogging and running. Would it make a diferent? If I were to take up jogging and running, I would probably be training as hard as I did for netball. Till then, you would probably be telling me the same thing, wouldn't you?

Let me tell you, I love Netball!