I have not much idea what to write for today.. Feeling quite upset with myself.. ok, nvm

anyway, WSP is ALMOST finish..

other then this.. Life is quite bad now.. not really in the mood to blog today..

ByEEEe.

Laughter? Smiles? All these are so impossible for mi to have them..

One after another one..

I think it is time to take up lesser things ba.. I found out what's the problem with me.. I got to admit that I am really very greedy. Somethings are not really what I want but I take up because I am jealous and greedy.. How can I kill this greediness in me?

I should learn how to be not so jealous easily.. or I am going to get myself into deep troubles.. Haiz.. Why am I like this?? WHY?? How to change?? HOW??

Been quite upset over this.. and also very stressed up due to my greediness.. I can't blame anyone but myself.. I am like a refugee in school.. kept running whenever I see some teachers that I don't wanna meet.. I am afraid of their scolding and nagging..

I don't what happened. I am like getting too over-sensitive with things and people.. I mean really. I sensitive till the extend that if someone change the tone of what he/she is saying I will start thinking of things.. People who know me well enough will know what I will think..

I seriously don't want to go to school at all.. It such a scary place.. A place full of nightmare..

Anyway, I really want to thank this very good friend of mine.. Thanks for listening to me whenever I need you.. Thanks lots.. At the same time I am kind of upset with one of my close friend. I wanted to talk her so much but she refused to listen and don't even bother to talk to me..

Haiz.. all I can say is.. I really DON'T KNOW WHO AM I NOW!!

Today?? haha.. went to my pay respect to my grandfather who passed away 19 yrs ago..

Morning when I am supposed to go to my grandma's hse.. I almost quarrelled with my mum..

I wanted to go late cos I wanna finished my homework but she insist me to go down with her.. Ok, I go with her.. Before leaving the house.. I wanns wear sports shoes so that I can go for netball directly when i come back.. She asked me why I wanna wear sports shoes.. I told her.. Then she started nagging.. Saying, homework, I don't care, play netball I care so much.. WA PIANG EH!! This may seem childish to many of you for quarrelling over such a matter.. but I was very fed up with what she said.. My bro everytime want to do this do that, she will not say anything, she will only grumble EVERYthing to me.. I am fine with this.. but WHATEVER I DO, she like to scream off my head.. and think whatever I do are not right.. Come on.. I admit there are times that I am slacking with my studies but I still care abt it lo! Though I am the stupidest at home but I still care bt my studies de lo! and PLEASE STOP OBJECTING me playing netball.. Netball is my life.. Without Netball, I am more likely to be on depression now.. Maybe even commited suicide.. Why can't people just appreciate things.. Haiz...

Anyway, things are fine now.. =)

On the bus, something happened that I can't believe it.. My aunties they actually want to sit TOGETHER to talk crap(that's what they said)... haha.. I can't believe that aunties actually do this..

Overall.. today not really a bad day..

Let's recap.. =))

Mon..
THe camp started off with briefing and coming out with a group name.. the initial name was "Auntie".. haha.. cos our class only got 9 guys.. haha.. But Sandra wanna be "sexy".. so it become All Sexy Aunties.. but the guys rejected the name.. Final decision was All Sexy Adrian.. we named after our instructor.. Adrian.. He keep asking us to change the name.. but we insist.. HAHA.. Everything settled.. TIME TO PITCH TENT!!! not a hard job.. The tent is quite easy to pitch.. The structure is much much easy than those I do in NPCC.. ya.. We came out with this.. ____ sexy anot? SEXY!! ... haha.. the ____ can be any word anything.. ya..

Time FOR LUNCH!! YA.. for lunch also got a cheer leh! haha.. This is how it goes..
L:All Sexy?
R:Sexy!
L:All Hungry?
R:HUNGRY!
L:All EAT!
R: EEAATT!!

After lunch.. TIME TO START THE GAMES!! WEEE... We had some teambuilding games.. Quite fun.. There's a part called Spiderweb.. we need to go through part of the spiderweb over to the other side.. The in-charge for the game gave us a challenge: Carry Adrian over.. HAHAHA!! and WE DID IT!!! Oh yea.. before we start the game, the in-charge(IC) asked for the group name.. we told him and he WAS SHOCKED!!! hahahahahaha.. He can't believe it that we actually had such name..
Next in line, RIVER CHALLENGE!!! Though we got wet but we had LOTS OF FUN!! the aim is from an end of the river go to another end of the river.. Throughout the game, we cheered like mad.. hahaha.. We also keep improving on the transporting method.. Completed in the time that was given.. =P..
What's next? NATURE RUMBLE!! but.. raiineed! =( we couldn't have the nature rumble.. Most of us waited for this like crazy but end up raining.. =( Quite sad.. We replaced it with trust game and some guessing games.. THe trust game indeed next TRUST! We had someone falling and people catching the one falling.. There were quite a no. of ppl who were kind of afraid.. but I MADE IT!! weeeeeeeeee We had the game where everyone stand SUPER close and sit down on each other thigh.. this was kind of easy for us.. 2 times.. and end it off.. Some guessing games came.. There was this one how many mae, mae, mae jump over the wall? 4!! hahaha.. and others..
DiNNer! and NIGHT ACTIVITY!! the night activity was scary and fun.. MOst of us are blindfolded.. and we walked into the forest.. On the way, the other instructor, Mitch.. "made some of the girls scream" by making some noise.. After a long while.. haha, Shu qin who was not blindfolded exchange with me.. I WAS FREE!! haha.. this is the first time for me walking in a area that is " Black & White " haha There's a part where we can see the firefly, but our class most of the ppl were so scared that their shoes will get dirty so we did went.. =( I wanted to go so much!!!
2nd last activity of the day was to prepare the item for the campfire.. we had STORM with some song and cheer.. We had our group cheer too..
This is how it goes..


We will, we will,
Kick your butt, make you fart,
all the way to pizza hut,
when you're there,
cut your hair,
don't forget your underwear.
Any sweat, no sweat
chicken feet, HA-HA
underwear wet wet,
don't believe come and check,
check already don't regret!
GOOOOOOOO.. SEXY!!!

Ya.. I love this cheer alot.. Yea!!
The day ended with supper and bathing..and SLEEP!

Not many ppl were able to sleep.. I could only half sleep cos my tent was kind of noisy.. but was ok la..

Tue..
Wake up, morning exercise, BREAKFAST!!
Started the day off with Obstacle Journey.. MOst of the "obstacle" were "spoilt" we made Adrian angry.. =( sorry! Not much comment on this activty..
Let's move on.. we had co-operative corner, Saint Challenge, Command & conquer, initiative games
I can't remember the order.. :P
Co-operative corner, basically is carrying people from an end to enother end.. we had carrying people by hand and also by sticks.. By sticks, we are suppose to take it as a ladder.. and "climb".. The ladder was kind of scary for me.. cos when I was climbing.. it almost "collapse" haha.. cos I am heavy..?? hahaha..
As for Saint Challenge, there were 3 parts to it.. Part 1: crossing an "acid river".. Lots of balance and thinking involved.. we had a hard time coming out with the route to cross.. when we come out with the solution, while crossing the river.. the route was improved.. :) Part 2: blindfold and WALK!! haha.. ok.. not exactly walk but rather cross over an obstacle.. haha.. I had a hard time crossing.. cos I really DON'T KNOW HOW TO CROSS!! Ha! I keep hitting the ropes.. haha.. Part 3: walking on "long flip-flop" hahaha.. Lots of coordination needed.. my group has a hard time walking.. we keep falling off.. Till here.. all the instructors who heard our team name WERE SHOCKED!haha.. they just simply can't believe that we actually come out with this name..
Command & conquer ah.. Build and attack.. haha.. we were divided into 2 group and "attack" each other.. haha.. we need to build a catapult and attack using water bags.. haha.. Had a great time with this activity..

In between there's a lunch break but can't remember when.. haha.. it was our turn to serve and on duty.. haha.. had a fun time serving.. and we sneak food.. haha.. ok.. with permission.. hahaha..

Finally can remember, this is the activity before Rock Climbing.. Initiative Games!! Mitch can't really tahan us liao.. hahaha.. he was speechless with us when we had this game.. hahahahaha..
TIME FOR ROCK CLIMBING!!! weeeheeeee..!! I love rock climbing.. It was drizzling but luckily the rain din come along with thunder nor lightning.. Feeew! =)) I can't complete the whole wall.. =( manage to go half only.. was kind of slippery and my hand quite weak.. =( Manage to climb half of both wall though.. haha.. =) Here, we scream and cheered like mad! And we are really really mad!! hahaha..
Last activity for the games part.. Artspression.. Do a banner.. The IC for this was really shock with our group name.. hahaha.. We actually made all the instructors SHOCK.. hahahha.. The title for the banner was All Sexy E1ss.. Ya!!

Before every game/activity start, we will shout this.. (Instructor's name) sexy anot?? SEXY!!! haha..

Dinner.. CAMPFIRE!!! WEEEE!! the campfire was FANTASTIC!! it was just as good as the concert that I had at NACLI.. scream till most of us lost our voice.. haha.. luckily I din.. haha.. we had dances, cheers, our items..
Here's our item:
L: All Sexy?
R:SSEXYY!!
L:All Ready??
R: REEADDY!!
(10 claps)
We are all so sexy,
so please show us some respect.
(4 claps, ta-ta ta-ta)
Our standard is much more higher than you expect
(4 claps, ta-ta ta-ta)
the drum come in.. (we used pails.. haha)
followed by spoons and forks
and clappings
here come the CHEER!
We are A.S.A(All Sexy Adrian)
We are No.1
We'll make you sweat
Frighten you to DEATH
We have A-dr-ian
We have Mitch
Let us tell you-
WE'RE COMPLETE!!
OoooooooooooooooooH.. SEXXXXXY!!
(SREAMSS)

Woo.. Love this man!! heehee..!
The campfire was really WONDERFUL.. Thanks everyone for putting in effort the wonderful campfire..

Time for supper.. bath ans SLEEP!! but I went round collecting signature.. haha..didn't mange to collect all of them.. =( Finally everyone slept! haha.. I had a chat with Shu Qin before I slept.. What we chatted? hehe.. *secret* haha..

Wed..(last Day) :'(

Wake up, BREAKFAST!! no morning exercise.. hahaha.. Servinng and duty again.. =) and SNEAK food again.. haha..

Strike tents le.. =( we do it quick and sadly.. =(
Followed by area cleaning.. Adrian joined another school's camp le.. =(
Last acticity FOR THE CAMP.. prize presentation..

WE GOT THE BEST GROUP!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHEEEEE

Home sweet home....sad.. we can't say goodbye to Adrian..

Back in school.. Short briefing and go home le.. but WSP ppl need to stay back..=( ok, shall not complain cos it worth it staying back.. =) anyway, I actually went home then come back..

When finish everything thatneed to be done, went to had a chat with Marianne and played LEISURE netball.. here's where I got FED UP with tt DAMN WANG!!

I asked around if NPCC need help, answer given was no.. THEN I WENT TO PLAY!! I ASK THEN PLAY! Damn Wang come and scold me for playing netball in front of the junior cos she thinks that I am trying to send a message telling the juniors that I had 2 CCA.. WA PIANG! What's wrong playing Leisure Netball.. It was like, only 2 people playing la.. She still said.. since NPCC no need help, I SHOULD GO HOME AND STUDY!! GO TO HELL la.. study, study, study and STUDY!! I hate studying after camp! DAMN WANG REALLY SUCKS THE HELL OUT OF ME!

Thu..
Quite tired.. Can't really stay awake.. Din really listen to most of the lesson.. haha.. I start to get into my angry mood when school ends.. Th bio pract come.. I seriously can't be bothered to attend.. I went for the rehearsal.. HMPH! and Netball training.. The Netball training, didn't do much, I only went there for awhile cos, most of the time I was at the rehearsal.. Those who went for the prac. they were let off at 5+.. the 3 netballers missed the training.. DAMN WANG loves TO INTERFERE NETBALL sia.. Can't stand her..

Fri..
I was very drowsy.. can't really be awake.. During PE.. the standing board jump, I can jump till fall.. =( Was really tired.. Last lesson.. DAMN WANG scolded for 1/2 HR! I was blamed and got shoot.. WA PIANG!! She blamed the class andme for not telling her that there is a parade rehearsal.. come on la.. She is a NPCC teacher, how can she don't know that there is parade rehearsal.. PIANG!.. Anyway, we complained to Mrs Peng.. =P

Today..?
Went to gym for 2 hrs!! ya.. on the way there.. wanted to take mrt but FORGOT TO TAKE ez-link card.. end up taking bus and was late for 20 min.. =( When reached home, slept like mad.. Pig!! haha.. and.. I AM 58KG!! OH MY GOD!! I added 2kg!!

That's all.. bye!!

Wow! It been long since I last update.. I have never 1week don'tupdate my blog.. haha.. but anyway.. gonna write a short entry.. need to rush work..

- THE CAMP IS WONDERFUL!!
- ALL SEXY ADRIAN RULEZ!!!
- But MS WANG SUCKS!! HATE NPCC!!

Ok.. that's all for the time being.. I go do my work liao.. Byeee

Shall write a short one.. ha!

I think things are getting better ba.. Hopefully by accepting facts, my life will be better.. haha

Sorry to the whole group of WSP people.. Sorry ppl.. din mean it.. haiz.. was just kinda stress out..

Ok..tt's all.. BYE!

How should I feel now?? How much more news can I handle..? I don't know...

News is coming after one another.. handling all by myself is not an easy task.. Wanna find someone to share but it seem like no one is there to share to.. All news are both good and bad.. I don't know if I should feel happy or sad for the people who gave me the news.. I really don't know..

From the poll I setup, people seem to feel that I am not a good buddy, friend, etc.. Probably that's why I received these news..

I really feel hopeless in things around me.. school, netball, life.. Nothing seem to go right..Just like today's training.. it was to bad that I never feel so hopeless in the team before.. juniors there are so NOT enthu.. Just doing the passes can kill the seniors.. they NEVER look where they throwing to.. I really hope to see more enthu people in netball.. before I quit HGV's netball.. School.. Life is just horrible.. many people think that since I score 1st in class why I am still feeling hopeless towards school.. in school, there isn't just study.. there many other things.. but these things I am just feeling hopeless in them.. Life.. IT JUST SUCKS.. Hate life more than ever.. But I sometimes do still that I am lucky.. However, most of time.. I just simply hate life.. Months and months of torture.. what's the point of living when we are suffering? It would be good that we just die, right? Haiz..

Life oh life.. . . . . . . . . . . (and probably this pict can tell how I feel now)

I tried to break the metal penal.. but the part that I broke seem to mend up again slowly.. every time I see, I hear and I read.. I can't help going away from them.. the metal panel seem to get thicker and thicker.. I tried to get busy to get myself over with it.. but it just don't seem to work..

I tried to follow fate's wish.. but it seem so hard.. I been fighting against fate.. but this time.. the more I fight with.. the more painful it is.. Trying to follow fate but it seem so difficult.. I just can't bring up the courage to face them.. I even have prob smsing, calling, talking to either of them.. I have some stuffs to ask and say to them but I just can't gather enough courage to do so..

I really don't know how to face them when school reopen.. I really don't know.. Ending it nor continuing it is a way for me to face them.. :( ya.. Can I just stop facing the world and leave peacefully??

Happy Birthday, Bro..! Ya, today is my 2nd eldest bro b-day.. :)

Ok, I thought through things.. Since fate want it this way then I shall have it this way then.. yea.. hopefully by this way life will be better.. . . .

For today and yesterday, there's kayaking course.. quite nice and fun.. LOVE IT! I wanna take up 2* course.. anyone interested?? Do join me along.. =) Just now also went for netball.. people there are very nice and fun-loving.. :)

Now, I AM SUPER TIRED!! Goodnight.. :)

I wonder is this all fated..

After I heard the news, things HAPPENED!! When went for the kayaking, I lost my towel.. A white towel, which meant ____ to me.. When I reach home, I realise all the stuffs in my comp was gone and picts in my msn was gone too.. ya.. All the website address was gone too.. The god is like telling me to start life all over again, only leaving some important behind.. Maybe that's what I should do.. But its DIFFICULT!

I really wonder what's the point of living when when you die and you are reborn, you have to START EVERYTHING AGAIN..?? wat's da pt living when you are suffering and you see joys in others..?? I wonder. . .

"You kill my heart. I feel numb. Never want this life again. . ."

Just came back from school.. Today got parents-meeting session.. Result: not much agony with the result..

Result were somehow better than I expected.. I was expecting myself to fail Eng but it didn't.. Feeeeww.. I was expecting to get a B3 for Comb. Hum. but I got an A2.. Ranking for all subject not that bad other than Eng.. 17/35 almost at the bottom half of the class.. lots of hard work need to be put in!! There is only one subj rank that I am not really happy about.. Comb. Hum.. 4/35.. could have done better.. Its all because of Social Studies.. HMPH!! Hate Social Studies!

For L1R5-12points.. SO HIGH!!! here the main killer is Eng, C6.. ya.. lots of effort must be put in! Ya.. Overall for 8 subjects: 1 C6, 2 B3, 1 A2, 4 A1.. Average %- 76

~End of Term 1 Progress Report~

Mid-year Exam's aim--> No C, %-78, Ranking-all single digit!

Ok, need to continue doing homework le.. :( manage to finish only 2 set of maths hw at the moment only.. :(

Many people are looking forward to term 2.. so do I!!

Can't wait for the sec 3 camp!! weeee.. Though I am feeling down now but hopefully life will be better as life goes on.. I just can't wait to either change school or leave hillgrove by any means..

Recently, my temper is very bad.. There are too many factors affecting my daily busy life.. What's add on to my busy life is homework.. 6 sets of A and E maths hw, 2 sets of CL hw, 1 set of eng hw, 1 set of geog hw, 3 sets of chem hw & 1 set of physics hw + CME proj.. OH MY GOD!! How can I finish all this in 1 week?? when... Mon and Tue-Kayaking, Wed- lessons from 8.30am to 4pm!! thu-netball training.. OMG!!

If this is so call holi, then I rather have no holi then..

Thur had bio pract.. ok la.. not as bad as I think.. tried my best to do the experiment.. and at night played netball.. very nice.. but I committed the same old mistakes!! ARGH!! anyway, made lots of new friends.. They are all very nice people to play with.. If anyone is interestd, every tue, thu go to the netball court oppo Bukit Batok East CC at 6pm.. :) ya.. :)

As for today, kind of a nice day.. but with bad mood.. Nice day cos not much lesson, somehow slacked in school.. but have bad mood cos.. things are not in my way.. I kind of feel HOPELESS in HGV.. I have no words to describe HGV.. haiz.. Anyway, just did NPCC service day.. Theme: Handphone theft.. Went to door to door to explain how to reduce handphone theft.. quite a good experience.. First time for me.. cos last year I had a camp clashed with it..

Now, feeling very tired le.. time to rest and/or do the endless homework.. :(

I really want to shut my ears and close my eyes.. so that I can no need to hear and see the painful world till the world is beautiful.....

What i expected kind of come true.. =(

=(=(=( I am really under great pressure now.. If these were to go on, I am really afraid that I can't that it anymore and will collapse.. I really don't wish to see that.. REALLY REALLY Don't Wish to see that...

What will happen if I didn't say out anything? Will the outcome still be the same?? I really wonder what will happen.. But at least I know what's the result.. AT LEAST! ya.. but I really really . . . . . . . . breakdown...

If someone ever ask me, what will I do if the nightmare carry ons.. My answer will be.. THE END! If someone ask me, since I am afraid, then why did I do so.. Because at least I know now that I have wasted 19 months of my life..

I can find no word to describe what I feel now.. I can only say.. to me LIFE = NO LIFE now..

My heart is Xin Ru Dao Ge (a sword cut open my heart)

. . . . . . . . . .(to: you-know-who-you are.. I think its time, that everything between us is over.. Nothing will remain the same..)

My worst nightmare has come true.. what I don't wish to hear has come true.. My heart shed, it bleed, its broken.............

I am very afriad that my nightmare will come continue.. it is really a very scary nightmare.. I really hope that it will stop here.. please stop here..

To: 177471417173

Why is it forever you?? WHY?? Why am I always a step behind you?? Can you please tell me why?? No matter in what, you are always a step ahead of me.. WHY!!!??? Why are you so cruel to me? From school to life.. from life to the world.. you are forever a step ahead of me.. Can't we at least balance up..??? PLEASE!!!!


I really want to cry out loud now.. This is really my worst nightmare that I ever had..

.......................

The week started off badly.. I feel like venting my anger out at someone or something.. but IF I were to vent my anger out, I believe many people will hate me for their life.. I am filled with LOTS AND LOTS of anger now.. I was hoping that by sleeping, I can reduce my anger.. but it no longer works.. =(

Let's talk about today.. I injured myself very very badly.. My neck got scratched to kind of bleed.. My right knee got scratched by tiles till bleed.. my right knee got hit 3 times.. my butt got hit by a very fast ball and now is blue-black.. After Sat's tanning, my skin is kind of painful.. What a bad day!! Lost today's powerball by 1 cone.. :'( And I think I offended many many people.. What's more.. the pain when I was bathing KILLED ME!! The wounds are damn pain!! Till I almost screamed out.. Ya.. that's how bad it is..

Today's life is so horrible..

I found quite a no. of coincidence.. I have 3 friends who are born on the same day and month but different from each other by 2 years.. I found 6 pairs who are borned on the same day, same month, same year but they are not twins!!! Almost all the pairs, each pair is a male and a female! I know 5 people who are born on the same they.. (some of this info cant be found at my birthday calender yet...) That's lots of coincidence, isn't it..? HA!

I spent my whole day with comp today other then doing some drawings.. Went browsing round the net, and I found these info.. If you guys have any coincidence cases do post at my tagboard.. Thanks.. :)

Finally update HGV's WSP, I been wanted to update the datas but was too lazy to do so.. =P

Oh ya.. I browsed quite a no. of JC & Poly website just now.. but I don't really understand what's the meaning of H1,H2,H3.. they sound so complicated to me.. Can someone explain this to me?? Thanks

What can I say about today? Nice, Fun, Sad, or what? I don't know.. I been out for almost half a day (12hrs).. yea.. I don't know I should say i regretted going out today or shall I say I am glad that I go out today??

Many, many things happened today.. I don't know how I should describe it but.... what happened made me disappointed and happy.. haizz.. =

Nevermind.. this is my first time celebratig birthday for people who I _________.. yea..

But sadly to say.. "No one notice, no one knows" As for what's the thing that they didn't notice, they didn't know, they know what I refering to.. yea.. =(

1 lesson learnt today.. NEVER EVER BELIEVE OTHERS.. BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU THINK!!! seriously.. I regretted believing some people.. I REALLY REALLY REGRETTED!!!

=)=>=D=P Smile, smile, and more SMILES!!!

Ha! I am not mad but rather crazy.. HAHA!! Though today stress until almost want to burst out but still feeling very high!! These few days been enjoying myself.. in school, can even sleep for at least 1 period.. HA!

Wed NPCC trg was horrible but still somehow enjoyed myself.. but was like there are times, I matched with my eyes closed.. =P cos on tue i slpt very very late.. Oh ya.. i got back more papers..

Elective Geography: 28/35
Chemistry: 40/50
Social Studies: 15/25

Social Studies was the only subject that i studied like hell yet it is one of the worst score.. =( The other 2 not bad.. :) yea!!

Just now went to watch West Zone Semi-Final.. it was kind of noisy.. The schools that were playing were cheering for their team LOUDLY!! BUt very pity Nan Hua lost to MGS by 1!!! Yes, 1!! I really pity Nan Hua.. they actually have a chance to draw but not enough time.. WASTED!! Aiyaaa..

Hopefully, tomorrow nothing went wrong and can cycle PROPERLY!!.. hahahahaha....