I am still in my horrible mood, which get irritated SUPER EASILY!! I can't stand a second of irritation.. When I get irritated, I will just get into my foul mood...

These 2 days got back CT result.. still ohhhhhkkk....

Bio-35/50
E.Maths-40/40
Eng-18/30
CL-87/100
Physics-29/50

Physics was exactly like wat I expected.. but really din expect to do so badly till the extent that it was a C!! Other than this.. I am quite happy with the rest of the result.. Especially Bio and Maths.. :):):)

Ok, I am going on 4th March IF nothing went wrong.. Things for 4th March was settled at once ytd.. Yea.. all probs were solved.. yea..

Time to go and rest already.. I am kind of tired after today's house practice for the powerball..

How sad and pathetic can life be??

I have never been so moody before.. What happened really crushed my heart into pieces.. Trying to get back my mood.. but it seem so impossible..

I felt that I have lost my way in the dark.. there is no light to lead my path out of the darkness..

Another week end.. Soon 2nd month of 2006 will end.. Soon, 2006 will pass and O'LEVEL!!! Haiz.. Time flies and flies.. Never stop for a second to walk on the ground.. haiz..

Life seem kind of meaningless to me.. I nowadays feel very aimless.. I don't know why I changed alot.. Change to no fighting spirit, character changed and its kind of horrible, times to times I get irritated very easily.. Am I turning bad?? If that's so, before I turned to hopeless, SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!! I am really scare that one day I will become one of the Ah Lian on street..

I don't know why I can feel that people around me dislike me and wish I can stop talking to them forever.. I kind of feeling lonely at times.. haiz..

Once again, I got into my saddest mood.. I really feel like screaming out, cry out loud.. I really don't feel like going on 4th March.. What I wish to do now.. is sleep and will never wake up again.. I don't wish to face to reality.. It's so painful.. It hurts alots.. I feel that I am like back to last year August--after CT2, where everything was messed up and my life were never good again till end of Jan'06..! After a month, thing turned back.. What i hope now is all the mess can be cleared asap..

How much more pain and saddness do I have to go through at one shot before life can be good again..? Not that there can't be sadness and pain.. But can at least the pain and sadness don't drag over months?? The pain and saddness often kill me mentally..

Sometimes, I wish I can have no felings to anything, everything at all.. Whatever things that I heard today and yesterday.. My heart broke.. It's bleeding now.. The painfulness can't be described in words.. I hate this kind of life.. I took a very long time to recover from the other time.. But seem that this time, I will have to go through the same old process of recovering.. :( I regretted doing something.. People always say that if we never try, how can we succeed? But when we know that we will sure lost, what's the point of trying?? Haiz..

Life oh life? what kind of life is it now??

Now is the 2nd last day of CT.. 2 days finished 6 papers.. Everyday doing quite badly.. HA! HECK! I somehow can't be bothered with the result.. Serious.. I seriously not in mood to study at all.. What's more? I even go and play netball during CT at my pri school.. :P I am not mad nor crazy or whatsoever.. I seriously don't feel like studying at all.. For people who don't believe that I slack at home, you will see it from the result..

To all p6A'03 people: Holiday, gathering? I can't wait to see you guys again.. Long time didn't see many of you le!! The other time going to Sentosa was less than half of 6A'03.. Hope that you guys can come and have a gathering during March holiday.. Do tag at the tagboard or sms me which days you guys are free.. Thanks LOTS!!
Just now when go back to bvps, I wore the jersey that I had went I was in pri school, the sercurity guard thought I was that school student.. HAHAHAHA!!

Enjoyed myself at BVPS today.. That's the "mei li" of BVPS.. :)

Shall write a quick short entry.. Now take the break to write a entry.. HA!

-Bad news, bad news and more bad news..
-Week started off very badly..
-I am very pissed off today after school
-COMMON TEST IS TOMORROW

Bye...

Let's make a conclusion for this week.. this is one of the better week of 2006.. It is not easy for me to have good week.. serious! Life has been quite horrible for the past few weeks..

Really LOVE this week alot..

Yesterday went to look at how the competition looks like.. so that more or less we know what to take note next week.. But yesterday weather was serious horrible.. In the late afternoon, people kept running all over the place.. cos.. the rain come and stop, come and stop.. For 3 times before the rain "settle" down.. Our school, the guys team.. Not bad la.. Though not 1 of the best but can see that they have tried their best..

Just now look through my pri sch autograph book.. Reminds me of lots of things.. I miss the time when PSLE is over and we played captain's ball together.. Though we do quarrel sometimes but the fun there was GREAT!! Those days were fantastic.. Haiz.. Time can't go back.. Just hoping can have a gathering with them soon..

Ok, that's all for today le.. Need to study..

I am kind of tired now.. Didn't get to have great nights for a week already(other then MON.. :)) Shall write a improper blog.. :p

=Was in bad mood today..
=First time in 2006, I did homework in school.. DAMN!
=2.4.. 15min.. :) :) :), last try-16min
=School was horrible.. I almost got into deep trouble..
=geog meeting: Update of datas? (nothing much cos ONLY Penny and I)
=NPCC trg: HORRIBLE, HATE IT!!

This is the end of today's entry.. I am too tired to write a longer entry.. Sorry.. :(

a trip back to BVPS was FANTASTIC!! I have been for months didn't go back already.. Wanted to go back during the eve of the CNY eve but that day got NPCC trg.. :(

Today suppose to meet up Ms Leong for lunch at 4pm.. but the stalls are closed and can't find her.. I MISS THE FOOD IN BVPS!! the food there is so much niceer than my sec sch.. But still manage to meet up with her and chatted abt life and other stuffs.. Thanks for the drink, Ms Leong.. :)

After chatting, went to have netball there.. I at first thot no netball but have.. :):):) see the juniors play.. SO CUTE!! When playing with them, I was playing center.. -.- I have never play center before.. This is the first time.. GOSH!! stamina need to be improve.. :( and committed mistakes lik stepping, ball thrown behind the catcher..But luckily change to GS.. Much better.. But shooting need to be improve.. Ya!!

Oh ya! Mrs James cut her hair.. SHE LOOKS VERY CUTE!! but sadly can't chat much with her.. :( Met Ms Ong too.. I almost forgot how to address her.. Oops! =p There are quite a no. of new faces of the teachers that I dun noe.. Anyway, there is a retired tcher bck in BVPS!!! Mr Foo!! I was surprise to c see him.. At the same time, some familiar faces are gone.. Like, hmm..Miss Goi, Mrs Yang and more.. can't rmb.. Today, I go back quite late that's why din get to c many tchers.. :( SHALL GO BACK SOON!! or shall I say.. MUST GO BACK SOON!!

I notices that BVPS has LOTS of vending machines round the school.. I mean it.. REALLY ALOT!! How I wish HGV can have ONE vending machine and tt's enough! But I know this is impossible.. nvm..

Walk home with Ms Leong just now and continue chatting.. HAHAHA!!

Thanks LOTS to Ms Leong for today.. Hope to see you soon!

Recently can write blog quite often.. :):> I am writing blog almost everyday.. YEA!!

Today had In-Place Protect(IPP) pratice.. we were to stay in the class with door, windows and the metal pantel taped-up for an hour.. I swear like mad.. cos the weather is freaking hot!! We missed half of geog, 1 period of chem and CME.. :( But completed quite an amount of homework.. :)

Nowadays life in school is getting better and better.. :) But I need to sorry to quite a no. of people.. I need to do certain things because I have to do it.. Hope you guys understand..

A BIG THANKS TO MR CHUA!!!! Thanks for today's lunch.. Thanks lots!!

What a lonely Valentine Day.. haiz.. haha.. but indeed lonely! Was like doing everything alone today.. and..what I wanted didn't come true.. :'(

People around are all in couple.. friends around me have someone to celebrate Valentine Day with them.. so envy.. How I wish I can be like them..but nevermind..

Let's talk about what happened in school today.. Had fire drill practice.. everyone was like having fun out of it rather then having the practice.. HA! Lessons today were fine other then almost fell asleep during Physics lessons.. After school, have campcraft training, we do quite well today.. finish everything in 10 min.. :) last best record was 13min.. When ms wang know about this, she was being very sarcastic.. Like what the hell la.. got improve still sarcastic.. haiz..

After which go West Mall(again!!), to buy some stuffs.. today was like 1st time in 2006 buy so many things at West Mall.. Bought book, ear stud, food and pen.. and back at HOME!!

OK, life in school is SLIGHTLY better.. not that bad as last week.. :) YEA!

Just now went to do the geography proj.. till 4.30pm.. today nothing much other then complain alot.. HA! but seriously.. this is the 1st time I complain so much about the proj.. :P

Today, got back Maths Test.. Damn dustrated with the result.. GRR! cos of a "x" 1 mark gone.. somemore the ans can be copy from the qn paper.. ARGH!! Should have gotten full mark.. I am super unhappy with my stupid mistake.. -.-```

Ya, scanned lots of pict of the past into my comp.. really alot of picts.. abt 20 i think. Ha! look at past picts.. got many are damn funny.. haha.. Really miss though days.. *sob*Haiz.. but what to do.. time can't reverse.. I can never enjoy those days again.. Ssaaaddd..

Ok, enough for today.. must go "work hard"(as if, HAHA).. bYe

Weehee.. Someone is finally back to the old-self.. :> Ya! I hated the new-self.. New-self is so scary and unfriendly.. Old-self is so nice!! Hopefully can continue to see the old-self.. :)

A new skin is out.. Mostly I will use this skin till June before I change again.. I am still working on the skin.. still not to the standard I want. I have somemore faeture haven't add in yet.. Like: birthday dates, other links and more.. and i trying to fix in the code to change the navigation letters colours.. When it is fully done, I will officially annouce.. HA!

This wkend is more organize.. Can do the homework before Sunday's night.. hopefully this will continue for MONTHS!! Till then I can't really get over the sadness of Marianne's batch is leaving the team.. It is really sad for them to leave.. They are the closest people in hgv I met.. Haiz.. gonna miss them like hell.. Haiz.. :(

A new week starting, gonna be real busy.. ok, now better go rest before I am lack of sleep for another week..

*CRY OUT LOUD*

Time flied.. tournament ended.. no match that I will be playing with Marianne's batch.. :( Goona miss them.. LOVE YOU GUYS!! YOU GUYS ROCK!! A few more trgs and you guys will disappear from trg.. *cry* Really very sad to have you guys leave the team..Haiz.. Time oh time.. CAN YOU PLEASE CRAWL?? :'(

Today's matchs.. NICE!! though lost but we lost beautifully.. I saw what HGV Netball Team is.. All of us played to our best today.. This is very true.. NOPE OF US SLACK AT ALL!! score: 4 VS 58.. 1st quater 0 :( after 1st quater I thot we are going to have 0 for that match.. but we work hard.. 4 GOALS!! it may seem little.. but it meant ALOT to me.. REALLY ALOT!! Everyone really do very well today.. VERY WELL!!

Ok..stop here 1st.. go for dinner then come back..

Today shall write a long and proper entry.. Though now is tired after self-trg.. but nt as tired as yesterday.. :)

Seriosly, sorry all readers for the improper entry for the past 2 days.. Past 2 days i was really very tired that I have not much energy left to write a blog.. especially yesterday.. Yesterday was my 1st time playing GA for half a game.. I was surprise that I can survive for so long..cos my stamina SUCKS!! I wanted to play GS so much but Ms Koh and Mdm Chan don't allow.. I played GA quite horribly..especially last quatar..but I understood more about GA.. (still nt enough though).. During last quater.. I was very fustrated cos I can't put in any balls at all..The last ball I shot.. I screamed.. Yesterday we can actually win.. I believe we can win.. 1st quater we draw.. 5, 5 but don't what happened.. after 2nd quater, the score differ by 9.. GRRR end of match differ by 21.. :( This should not happened yesterday.. SORRY EVERYONE!!

Before I continue my entry.. Sorry Val, but I hope you understand why am I doing so.. Cos I want you to play tomorrow.. I don't understand why you seem not willing to play.. I want you to get experience.. Hope u understand..

Today was kind of hyper in school but was kind of fierce as well.. haha! Last night slept very very early.. 1st time in 2006 slept before 10pm with homework finished.. that's a miracle.. but someone called to my hp twice.. I have no idea who this person is.. cos I was so tired that I was unable to hear the vibration.. Sorry.. Whoever called.. please call me again tonight before 11 if there's any important..

Sorry Shu Qin, I know I am damn bad to let you do the printing alone.. SORRY!!

In school, can be awake for all lessons but not Social Studies.. Haiz.. I wonder when can I 1 day in school don't feel tired..?? But I love Mrs Chua lesson.. NICE LESSONS!! :):) Just now had self-trg from 3-6pm.. Played all sort of position just now cos not enough ppl..

I thik that's all for today.. Btw, to those who actually people playing bball this Sat, the game is cancelled.. Sorry.. :(

Any short entry today.. sorry readers.. I m just too tired to write a long entry..

-We could have won.. GRR :'(
-Score: 10 VS 31.. :( COuld have put in more.. its all my fault.. Today is really my fault!! :(
-Sorry everyone..
-Missed NPCC trg today.. (cos of tournament) Heard that they chose ppl for the speech day le..
-Last of all.. Sorry KaiLIng..

THat's all for the time being.. SORRY EVERYONE!!

Shall write a short entry today.. Now very tired le.. Need to have LOTS of rest..

-went to watch I Not Stupid 2
-cried while watching
-a very nice show
-LOVE THE SHOW, Highly Recommended
-Today's school: BORING!!
-Dying of boredom
-NPCC trg..didn't practice much.. most of time playing bball
-Now need to go rest le.. BYE

PLEASE WIN TMR MATCH!! THAT IS MY ONLY REQUEST FOR ALL HGV NETBALLERS!!!

This current skin.. just to replace the CNY skin for the time being.. I thik that the CNY skin not niecly done.. Doing another skin now..

Today's match.. HORRIBLE!! HORRENDOUS!! HOPELESS!! HORRIGIBLE!! Lost.. 1 VS 52!! oh my god!! partly is my fault.. could have score another 4.. haiz.. Oppo team gt a very irritating person.. I hated her... haiz.. but nvm.. whatever is done cant be undone.. :(

Ok.. continue to write more later at night.. I need to go n bath now and go WATCH MOviE!!! WEEHEE!! :)

Feeling very sian now.. so decided to write a entry.. Here's a entry to vent my saddness.. :(

Just went to Pei Yun birthday.. on the way home.. saw many couples.. they are so lucky to have someone to care for them love them.. I may still young for BGR at the moment.. but there is something that I am very envy of all the couples..that is they ARE COUPLES.. When one of them is sad, someone is there to cheer he/she up.. when he/she is happy, there is someone to share the happiness with..

Haiz... recently someone very unhappy with me.. haiz.. No one can help me.. No one can understand how i feel.. There is no one that I can share my saddness with... (not that I want to complain my saddness out, but at least someone is there to cheer me up without listening)

Cos of the CCAs clashed.. Many many things happened..
1st: I got someone into lots of trouble
2nd: "fought" with a teacher
3rd:Unhappiness with a teacher got deeper
4th: someone got me into deeper trouble
5th:Someone become very unhappy with me.. thinking that its ALL my fault
6th:I am "controlled" in one way or another
7th: Misunderstand with 2 people got deeper
8th:I hate this kind of life..

Just because of a matter, so many things happened.. haiz.. I am hoping that days after new year could be better.. but things seem to be not like what I want.. :( I seriously feel like crying out so much now.. But who can lend mi a shoulder to lend on?? Haiz.. I want my life to be like before last year Aug.. life then were PERFECT!! I miss that life..

Life oh life.. what's life? Am I fated to such life for long term? Why??!!?? Can I have a better life..? PleaSE!!

What can I say?? These few days.. MANY MANY things are happening.. But first of all

To Marianne: Sorry, other then sorry, I really don't what to say.. Once again sorry..

On Fri, had a super tiring day.. What happened was..In the afternoon, had a geog project meeting with the Senoko people.. they said that we were on the right track at the moment.. :) BUt there are many things that we can improve on.. :) Hopefully all our effort will not be wasted..

To NPCC people: PLEASE UNDERSTAND why I didn't go for training(s) or LATE for trainings.. It is my fault for getting involve in things that are clashing with NPCC trainings.. But I hope that you people can understand..

Now I have a problem persuading my father to let me go to a camp in M'sia.. :( I want to go M'sia alot.. Cos I have never been to M'sia before, or rather I shall say I have never go out of Singapore before.. I have been to Sentosa TWICE only.. Haiz.. My father thinks that M'sia is a very dangerous place cos there are Singaporean who went to M'sia and they went missing there before.. so it is very dangerous for me to go as well.. haiz..

Before I end this entry.. To Pei Yun: Happy Birthday!!

To: you-know-who-you-are

Please, please, please tell me what you want? Wanted to talk out things with you but you do not seem to bother, listen or care.. Now that I make a desicion, you seem unhappy with it.. So what exactly you 1 mi to do? can tell mi?? I do not wish to see any war(s).. I am really very stress up with the problems already.. Things are getting better when all of a sudden you drop me a bomb.. I mind what you think, what you feel.. If I have did something that you think is not right, can we just talk things out.. come out with a solution.. PLeaSE PLEase PleASE.. I do not want to see any black face anymore.. not that you don't have the right to show black face.. but before you do so, can we have things talk out? I was really upset when I saw the face you gave me yesterday.. Any unhappiness, please say it out can???