Today is a pleasant day.

I was in school today to help with the family banner. Actually, I also didn't do much. =/ Family 1, you guys rock. Thank you so much for your understanding and help, especially Judith. I know you have helped me in all ways you can.

I left at around 12.45pm to meet Hui Juan, Syahirah, Atikah, Shi Yun, Isabel and Deborah. It is so nice to meet them again. We had lunch at Lot 1. We had so much to catch up. =D All of us will be going on our separate ways. A few of us are going to JC and the rest are going to polytechnic.

Now thinking back, I miss secondary school life. :S

At around 3pm, home sweet home...

Congratulation Singapore! We will be hosting first Youth Olympic Games in 2010. Go Singapore!
Singapore will be filled with Sports excitement everywhere! First night F1 racing will be held this year September!Asian Youth Games in 2009! Youth Olympic Games in 2010! World Netball championship in 2011! Woohoo!!!! Go Singapore!!!

QUIZES AND MORE QUIZES
1. Does it matter to you if your bf/gfsmoke?
- yes, more than you know.
2. How about drinking?
- just dont get addicted,
3. Do you want someone you cant have?
- No. Whatever that's not mine, will never be mine.
4. If someone liked you right now,would u want them to tell u?
- no.
5. Whats your favorite sport?
- N-E-T-B-A-L-L
6. Its saturday night, you're homealone.. what do you do?
- Call a friend and talk.
8. Can you do the splits?
- Not at the moment
9. Do you like roller coasters?
- Not really. My first experience wasn't good.
10. Whens the perfect time to have aboyfriend/girlfriend?
- when the right one comes.
11. If you could date any celebrity,who would it be?
- no one.
12. Whats your favorite band?
- I like all bands. =)
13. What are you doing this weekend?
- Shopping and Netball!
14. Whats your favorite restaurant?
- idk
15. Do you usually fall for the right or wrong girl/boy?
- not that I know
16. Have you ever hugged someone?
- Ya
17. Ever kissed someone you werent attracted to?
- Not that I can remember. Maybe my parents when I was young.
18. Do you like anyone right now?
- I don't want to know my feelings.
21. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
- his accent.
23. Which do you prefer, beach or the mountains?
- Both. Nature is beautiful!
24. What kind of phone do you have?
- a not very useful phone.
26. Computer or laptop?
- computer
27. What is your favorite store?
- I hardly shop.
28. Jeans or sweats?
- both. Depending on accasion.
29. Which year has been the best so far?
- every year. every year gives me a different experience.
30. How old are you gonna be on your next birthday?
- 17. 3 months plus to go.
31. What should you be doing right now?
- In school.
32. What is your favorite tv show?
- A lot.
33. Color?
- all colours look good and bad depending on the combination.
34. Are you attracted to girls/guys that smoke?
- similar to qn1 leh(i no stm hor). no lah.
35. Would you want a chilled laid back gf/bf or a party animal?
- chilled laid back outside of house,party animal when in my house.
36. Have you ever fallen on your butt in front of a crowd of people?
- not really.
37. Explain your dream car:
- not at the moment
38. What do you do when you're at home?
- relax.
39. Whats your favorite subject?
- Everything except LANGUAGES!
40. Where do you want to go to college?
- ??
41. Do you like to go to concerts?
- no.
42. Favorite type of music?
- idk
43. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
- i am the owner of my bed!
44. Scariest thing you've ever done?
- losing myself
45. Whats the best feature about you would say?
- my eyes
46. What annoys you?
- myself
47. If you had one super power, what would it be?
- teleporting skill
48. Ever gone to saturday school?
- yea.
49. Been kicked out of class?
- no.
50. If you could say anything to anyone?
- *idk*
51. What are some of your favorite quotes?
- no matter what you do, where you do, always enjoy it.
-only one thing matters - attitude.
52. Are you jealous person?
- yea
53. Are you friends with people that you shouldnt be friends with?
- not sure
54. What is your deepest fear ?
- losing myself again.

Things haven't been going well. My silly comments has created a hu-ha. I am really lost now.

I am posted to PJC but I don't know if I want to appeal. Then, I started thinking that maybe I should stop schooling. Life with only studies is so boring. Thinking about it, last year I finished my O, next year will be A already. We are all studying non-stop. Worse still, I am not enjoying learning right now. It is all just a burden. I just feel so heavy.

Previously, I have posted an entry regard why student fail his exams. When I think thoroughly about it, I find it very true. We are using our sleeping hours, our relaxation time to study. Sometimes, I spend as little as 3 hours of sleep per day just to complete my work. Sometimes, I don't even have sufficient time to sms or call my friends to catch up with one another. I have time in my hand but sometimes, I just need to give myself extremely strict discipline. *sigh*

Come to talking about handphone, I realised that handphone is such a wrong electronic device. Hanphone gives me stress. No joke. Having too many sms not read give me stress. Having too many miss call gives me stress too. Having too many people lokinig for me through my handphone will give me the most stress. I hate this feeling. Sometimes, handphone isn't a communication device to me. It is more of a MP3 and Camera to me or a nuisence to me.

*sigh* What to do? Where to go?

Flamingo very nice is it? Very stylo is it? Lift your leg some more la! Even in the center circle, you can't have your leg down for long. Then, your passes go haywire. Come on la! Play netball for so long already, yet your passes are like sec 1. You are such a selfish soul. Everything want to take is it? keep taking la! Please hor, this is a TEAM game. Seriously, if you think netball is just about yourself, then seriously, STOP playing. Go elsewhere that suit you better. Primary school players can shoot better than you! 1 out of ten went in. Hello!!!! You know how hard your defenders work to bring the ball down? Come on la! Please go and brush up your shooting! How long have you been playing Attack? eversince you start playing netball right? then, please do proper runs. You play like you just start to play netball.. time your runs!!! Timings are so off. And move your heavy butt! Come on man.. You think when kenna hamburger still can get the ball easily? seriously 90% you will not get the ball. SO MOVE! can you make sure your teammates are ready before you release the ball? this is a TEAM GAME! Please practice your landing! It's just so wrong. Come on, play let what you should be playing!

I am very pissed with myself. ARGH!

Eventful week!

15th Feb - Camp
16th Feb - Camp
17th Feb - Lesson (11am), Netball(3pm)
18th Feb - Netball (3pm), Lesson (7pm)
19th Feb - Lesson (7pm)
20th Feb - Netball (4pm), Lesson (7pm)
21st Feb - Netball (3.30pm)

This will be my schedule for the next 7 days. School lessons are not shown. Practically everyday, I will only reach home when sky turns dark. Oh well. But it is ok though. =D I love the activities.. =D=D=D=D

Lessons for the past 2 days have been enjoyable but not today. Tues and Wed were excellent but someone spoilt my mood today. Nevermind.

I am tired. Goodnight.

It still hurts, no matter what.

A lesson hit me hard. A year back, someone told me this, " So what if the person is fat and he is happy that he is fat and doesn't want to exercise."

We are following rules that are set by us. Rules are dead but we are flexible. Sometimes, even if we know things are wrong but yet people are happy with what they are doing, should we just let things go the way it has been going or should we stop it?

What matters most in life? Is it going for what is right or is it doing anything as long as you are happy and you don't harm others but you know it is wrong to do so? At the end of the day, seriously, what will matter most? Happiness or doing what's right but you aren't happy with it? But, well it is always best to do something right and be happy at the same time. Then again, this doesn't always happen.

Seriously, if you are forced to choose either one, what will you choose?

You have told me clearly what you are thinking and now I know what I need to go for.

I am not in school today (again).. I fainted at home yesterday. No joke, I am serious here. Yesterday afternoon, after waking up, wash up and I fainted. Luckily, I twisted my ankle. The pain helped me to regain my conscious. But, I was feeling damn weak. I had a rest till evening 6 plus. By then, only did I feel much better. =)

Just now, went to visit doctor. Phew, luckily it isn't a major problem! Thank you so much!!

You are just telling me that you don't care, do you?

Manage to do quite a bit of work yesterday. =)

Yesterday night was out to watch Kung Fu Dunk with Michelle and Shi Jie. Not bad. But, of cos it will be better if it was with you.

Things have repeatly going through my mind. Be it about you, netball, academics, life and etc. For some of them, thinking of them drive me nuts. For some of them, I just can't have the answer out yet. *sigh*

Had a talk with Marianne over the phone yet. We chatted for like 1 and a half hours. We talked about a lot of things, happy matters, sad matters weird matters. A talk with her made me feel much better. Thanks, buddy!

I know I am missing you. I know I want you. But, I don't know what you are thinking.

新年快乐！愿您天天开心，事事顺心！
Happy New Year!

I think the New Year is kind of boring. First thing first, people who I came across, more than half of them, I have no idea who are they. More than 3 quarters of them, I only meet them once a year. Almost everyone, we do not have a common topic. So, practically after saying Happy New Year with a hand shake, we hardly speak a single word to one another. For a few of them, they asked me about my academic matters. And for those who knew about what has been going on these few weeks would know that I am fustrated enough with academics matters. Furthermore, Pig Year didn't look like it was good. Everyone seems to encounter quite a number of problems during the year of Pig. Quite a few discussion among the adults were about some fustrating problems they met last year. Not much of laughters were heard.

Then, my mind was constantly thinking about him. So.. ya..

*sigh*

I am missing you

Another hour to new year(for Chinese). I think it is time to look back and see what have I done for the past whole year.

At the start of Sec 4, little did I expect life to be so busy that I could hardly breath. Looking back at my diary the other day, I realise how much I have grown. Experiences with people have made me look at the world from another angle. Sometime, things aren't as simple we think.

Also, I realised how lost I was back then during the first few months in 2007. Come to think of it, after a year, I have yet to find my direction in life. But, I have confidence that I will find it soon. =D

Soon, half a year has passed. Most responsibilities have been passed on to the next batch. The only thing that I am suppose to do was focus my mind and soul to studies. Nothing more than this. However, a big thanks to Mdm Chan for allowing us to represent Hillgrove for the last time in a tournament. The Pesta Sukan was unforgettable. Till now, I still remember the feeling of winning the last game played during the carnival against Riverside. Hearing the cheering from the crowd and the encouragment from the coaches - the feeling was just simply fantastic. I think that was just the best way to end my journey of netball at Hillgrove.

After Pesta Sukan, Prelim came. I didn't perform for certain subjects. Overall result was just as I expected so there's nothing much that I can be upset with.

Just before I know, the big O comes. The whole period of 3 weeks was quite stressful. I still remember how stressed up I was just before Geography Paper. I still remember how lost I was before E.Maths Paper 2. Luckily, I have my close friends as well as the teachers who always help us whenever we need them. Thank you very much..!

Just before I know, O level has ended. During the holiday, I planned to work. In the end, I decided not to work as it will be just a burden for myself. Nonetheless, I think the holiday was sort of well spend (though most parts of the holidays were spent on relax).

Netball training was disappointing during holiday. The attendance was horrible. But, 塞翁失马，严得非福. We reformed almost everything. =D

Then, 2007 said goodbye and 2008 waved to us.

January 2008, was not a good month for me. Before I could get problems solve, new problems arise. I was facing problems from all areas. Worst of all, I lost the will to fight. It was these few days that I slowly regain the will to face challenges. Let's hope that Mouse Year will be an excellent year!

I only have 3 wishes for the new year:
1) Peace
2) Good Health and Happiness
3) Passion

I only have 1 resolution:
-Work harder in all areas.

To all out there, Happy New Year. May Mouse Year be a wonderful year for you!

I didn't go to school today. I wasn't feeling well in the morning so I decided to take a break for a day. In the afternoon, I was much better. Things didn't went the way I expected. =D.

For the whole morning, I was in my lalaland till 2.30pm. Nothing much in the afternoon. I only did this skin. I am quite satisfy with the skin. I tried a lot of new things such as combine pictures and do frames. I am a little disappointed by the colours of the words. The original colours of the words aren't what you are seeing right now. They should be much brighter. Overall, I think it is still quite good. =D

Sms-ed him today and he didn't reply for the second. =(.. Nevermind..

I was looking through my diary for 2007. I realised how many pages are spent on writing of him. HA!

Although was raining yesterday, we had training as per normal. There were 5 games of about 20 mins. I think it wasn't too bad. It was the club first time playing together at a full court. I think it was nice! We worked better as the games go on. =D

Today.. I am proud of the juniors! You guys are wonderful! Good Job people! Hillgrove won Teck Whye today at West Zone B Division Netball Championship today. The passes were good. They put on tight defend. Overall, it is an excellent game. Well Done, Juniors.. Keep it up!

The walk was nice. Your message melted me. You made me fall to the deepest depth.

All right, I have not blog properly for quite sometime. Ya, I have been quite emotional for the past few days, or rather for the past whole week. What on earth exactly happened? It all started with O level result. (Leave if you don't want to read what I will be typing.)

On 24th Jan, O level result were realised. I scored L1R5 - 11, 6As and 2Bs. Initially, people around were happy for me. However, as time passed by, I felt I was lousy. My mum kept comparing my result to my friends. and well, my friends scored 8 As, 7 As and etc. and Obviously, their aggregate for L1R5 were lower than mine. Apart from my mum's comparision, there were many people around me scoring 9 points, 7 points and etc. I really feel bad about myself. Next came, I felt so insulted by one of my friends. She insulted my result. Then, on Monday morning I went to a school, I felt my result was horrible enough that I was unwanted. With so much pressure around me. I felt I was lousy and the fact is that I am. I didn't do as well as others did.

That was only for academic. I felt I was unwanted at netball too. I felt that my skills were lousy. I felt I was lousy enough not be in the school team for JC. I totally lost confident in myself. I began to be very resistance to the world. I didn't like going to school at all. Things were really bad for me. One of the nights, I cried. That night, I just needed someone badly. For obvious reasons, I couldn't look for my parents. I looked for my closest friend but she wasn't available. I wanted to talk to him very much. I mean really very much but i just didn't dare. Thanks to one of my seniors, Cik Siti. She was my listener that day. Thank you very much!

Right now.. Things aren't very much looking good. I just wished to have him by my side, telling me everything will be fine.

I don't like your holiday.