Lame Joke: Multi Purpose Card

Lame Joke: Multi Purpose Card
A likely scenario when ordering a simple pizzas in the not-too-distant future...

Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your...

Customer: Hello, can I order...

Operator: Can I have your multi purpose card number first, sir?

Customer: It's..eh..hold on....6102049998-45-54610

Operator: Ok..You are...Mr Lim and you are calling from 17 Jalau Kayu. Your home no. is 40942366, your office no. is 76452302 and your mobile no. is 0142662566. Which no. are you calling from now, sir?

Customer: Home! How did you get all my phone no.?

Operator: We are connected to the system, sir.

Customer: May I order your Seafood Pizza...

Operator: That's not a good idea, sir.

Customer: How come?

Operator: According to your medical reports, you have high blood pressure even have higher cholesterol level, sir.

Customer: What do you recommend then?

Operator: Try our low fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it.

Customer: How do you know for sure?

Operator: You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from the national library last week, sir.

Customer: Ok, I give up...Give me three family size one then. How much will that cost?

Operator: That should be enough for your family of 10. The total is $49.99.

Customer: Can I pay by credit card?

Operator: records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today.

Customer: Nevermind, just send the pizzas. I'll have cash ready. How long does it gonna take I'm afraid you have to pay by cash, sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you own your bank $3720.55 since October last year. That's not including your late payment charges for your housing loan, sir.

Customer: I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guys arrive.

Operator: You can't, sir. Based on the anyway?

Operator: 45 minutes, sir. But if you can't wait, you can always come and collect in your motorcycle...

Customer: What!!!

Operator: According to the details in the system, you own a scooter...registration no. is E1123.

Customer: *'!*%**%^I7*

Operator: Better watch your language, sir. Remember 15th July 2078, you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?

Customer: [Speechless]

Operator: Is there anything else, sir?

Customer: Nothing... By the way...Aren't you giving me that 3 bottles of cola as advertised?

Operator: We normally would, sir, but based on your record, you also diabetic...