Although was raining yesterday, we had training as per normal. There were 5 games of about 20 mins. I think it wasn't too bad. It was the club first time playing together at a full court. I think it was nice! We worked better as the games go on. =D

Today.. I am proud of the juniors! You guys are wonderful! Good Job people! Hillgrove won Teck Whye today at West Zone B Division Netball Championship today. The passes were good. They put on tight defend. Overall, it is an excellent game. Well Done, Juniors.. Keep it up!

The walk was nice. Your message melted me. You made me fall to the deepest depth.

All right, I have not blog properly for quite sometime. Ya, I have been quite emotional for the past few days, or rather for the past whole week. What on earth exactly happened? It all started with O level result. (Leave if you don't want to read what I will be typing.)

On 24th Jan, O level result were realised. I scored L1R5 - 11, 6As and 2Bs. Initially, people around were happy for me. However, as time passed by, I felt I was lousy. My mum kept comparing my result to my friends. and well, my friends scored 8 As, 7 As and etc. and Obviously, their aggregate for L1R5 were lower than mine. Apart from my mum's comparision, there were many people around me scoring 9 points, 7 points and etc. I really feel bad about myself. Next came, I felt so insulted by one of my friends. She insulted my result. Then, on Monday morning I went to a school, I felt my result was horrible enough that I was unwanted. With so much pressure around me. I felt I was lousy and the fact is that I am. I didn't do as well as others did.

That was only for academic. I felt I was unwanted at netball too. I felt that my skills were lousy. I felt I was lousy enough not be in the school team for JC. I totally lost confident in myself. I began to be very resistance to the world. I didn't like going to school at all. Things were really bad for me. One of the nights, I cried. That night, I just needed someone badly. For obvious reasons, I couldn't look for my parents. I looked for my closest friend but she wasn't available. I wanted to talk to him very much. I mean really very much but i just didn't dare. Thanks to one of my seniors, Cik Siti. She was my listener that day. Thank you very much!

Right now.. Things aren't very much looking good. I just wished to have him by my side, telling me everything will be fine.

I don't like your holiday.

Okay.. seriously, I don't know what to go for. I don't know what and which to choose and I am creating trouble. I am so sorry!

without you, everythings is just so wrong..

I feel really tired, mentally. And it is just so difficult to get rid of this tiredness. This tiredness make me feel so lerthagic. I don't have the energy to give my energy. I know I am at the limit of my limit. Another step, I will just start hating the world or I will just disappear from the world (literally).

Without you and with tiredness, it is impossible for me to move on right now.

I WANT YOU!

I wanted you to be by my side so much. I was really troubled and didn't know what to do. I really hoped you will be here for me. I just wanted to look into your eyes in the dark to find the answers.

lost..

I am so irritated. Everything looks so wrong. I hate it when I can't control my time freely. GRR!

Schedule for today:
9.30am to 11am - HOMEWORK (I hate to do them now)
3pm to 6pm - Netball

Things to finish but I don't know when to do:
Clean the TABLES.
Plants decoration
New Year Shopping (I want to buy clothes!)
Registration for JAE

Things for tomorrow:
Visit to PJC
Leaders' Meeting
OG18 gathering at Melissa's House
Netball from 2.30pm to 5.30pm

So many things (again)! Right now, I am like so blur. ARGH!

You are not here to give me moral support. ='(

All right, I will write more about O level another day but it will be soon though.. =) I shall update about today's event.

I am very tired after a day of activities. I was out in the morning at River Valley High School for games. The juniors... Honestly, I am still disapopinted with them but I hope they will take this lesson hard. I also hope they will not allow history to repeat. Afterwhich came back with school. I am always amazed with what I can talk to Cik Siti and how long we can talk to each other. HAHA! After returning from RVHS, we sat for an hour and chatted for an hour as well. Then, Home sweet home. At 1pm, I was out at Boon Lay Market near JJC for New Year Shopping. I am starting to fall in love with shopping for food. The feeling is just so nice. =D

When return from shopping, I went to met up Sam and Marianne. Well, very obvious the topic was on O level. Thanks people, I am more or less decided. =) At 5.30pm, headed for lesson. I was a little bit late.. =/ I must try to be early for the next lesson. After the lesson, I AM SO TIRED!

okay, now I really want a rest. I am really tired. Bye! and thanks people.

I didn't dare to talk to you anymore just like before. The stranger feeling is back. ='(

Things are sort of screwed up and kind of messy. Time does not seem to be in my control. I cannot exactly do things at the time I want. And this is bad. I really need to control my time.

Today looks much better compared to the other day. Phew!

Where to go? What's your suggestions/advice?

Why students fail their exams..? LOL.. it is pure craps!

It's not the fault of student ifhe/she fails because the year ONLY has 365 days...typical academic year for a student:

1. Sundays - 52 Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
Days left 313.


2. Summer holidays - 50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.
Days left 263.


3. 8 hours daily sleep - 130 days GONE.
Days left 141.


4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days.
Days left 126.


5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing properly & swallowing) - means 30 days.
Days left 96.


6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal) - means 15 days.
Days left 81.


7. Exam days - per year at least 35 days.
Days left 46.


8. Quarterly, half yearly and festival (holidays) - 40 days.
Days left 6.


9. For sickness - at least 3 days.
Days left 3.


10. Movies and functions- at least 2 days.
1 day left.


11. That 1 day is your birthday.
How can you study on that day ?!?!?!?!?!

Balance = 0
' How can a student pass ?????

Firstly, a big thank to everyone around me!

To my parents: I LOVE YOU!
To all my teachers: It was you that give me what I achieved today.
To my friends: thanks for your encouragement throughout the whole peirod of exams.

THANKS!

4E1, shall we have a lunch/dinner gathering during one of the weekends..?

Yesterday.. wa! Seriously, I wanted to blast off! But, they are lucky that I wasn't in good condition yesterday or I would have scream their heads off. I was very angry with their performance, extremely angry.

To someone out there:
You earn people's respect, not ask for respect. Seriously, I am extremely disappointed with your performance yesterday. You simply tell your opponent that you have given up on the game. Don't blame on others that take your job. Blame on yourself that you are not doing a good job.

As for today.. I am disappointed with myself. Seriously, totally disappointed with myself. I am so horrible today. I am guilty with my performance. So sorry!

School wise, BORING!

DEFINITION OF UMPIRE : A person appointed to rule on plays

Is it me?

I LOVE MICKEY! I LOVE HER SMILE! SHE ROCKS!!!!!

Today's training was all right. But, seriously, I gave up on her already. No point holding on to someone who wants to go.

The feeling on court is ever so nice. Flying across and in court is just so wonderful. Netball rules!

Tomorrow is Monday. I used to like Mondays but not now. Monday is just so dreadful! I can't wait for Friday and weekends to come.

you oh you..

Has been in JJC for 3 weeks. So far, the class is all right. CCA wise, all right as well.. I guessssss.. So ya.. everything is still going sort of well. But just that I am a little sick of studying.

An amazing fact: I have studied ten years straight, non-stop. Thinking back, time flied. Our brains are amazing. Seriously, I feel that after ten years, I wanted a break so badly. I mean literally a break and the break last for months or even a year. But, well.. I know this is almost impossible especially in Singapore. At any point of time, if you dare to take break more than others of your age does, you will be known as a bad kid. True isn't it? Furthermore, as you grow up, the studies is going at a ever faster rate.

I am really envy of how my brother studied throughout his o level then a level and now in university. Now that I am only handling the teeny weeny start of JC life, I am already sick of studies. I wondered how my brother go through the whole life in JC. Now, I also understand how my the other brother felt.

Study is just such a boredom to me but I have no choice since I am in Singapore. =/

Many people asked if I am going to stay on in JJC or even in JC system. Seriously, I am not sure. Howver, I do have some thinking for Polytechnics though.

Courses that I am considering:
Accountancy
Environmental Management and Water Technology
Horticulture and Landscape Management

But seriously, I still don't know where I want to go.. How about you guys?

失去了生命的导火线，人生无论如何看待，它就是那么死板。

I am confused.

I want you.. by my side..

Am I running away from reality? Do I really need a break?

Ideas are up at my mind. They are kind of active in my brain. Some people are shocked by the ideas that I have in my mind. Some of them supported my choice. Honestly, I am just lost in the desert now. No direction to follow.

Idea of withdraw came to my mind. Idea of changing environment, idea of changing system, idea of a long break.. all of these came to my mind.

*sigh*

I was worried for you.

Nevermind..

I have been busy with quite a few things and almost every night when reached home, I was about to knock out already.

For the first week, I was away from home for orientation camp at JJC from 3rd to 5th Jan. It was great. I liked the atmosphere for the camp very much. The night before the camp, was away at Causeway Point to repair the phone. I reached home at 10.30pm that night. Saturday knocked out till the next morning after dismissed from the camp.

On Sunday, we had our very first club training for 2008. I wasn't very happy with some people's attitude. However, the training went well though.

For the whole of this week, I was heavily committed to netball. I returned to Hillgrove on Tues and Thurs for school training. I wasn't very happy with the seniors performance. I think they can be better with their attitude. Thursday, I was so angry with them that I blasted at them. They need to practice their passes more often. I was down for JJC netball training on Wed and Fri. Their trainings are all right, I guess. Yesterday, I was down at Kallang for Daisy Tan Carnival and a test. I was very impressed with one of the seniors, Farah's, performance. Well done, Farah! Keep it up! After returning from Kallang, Marianne and I went for SP open house. It was fine. We just took some information booklets and left. Reached home in the late afternoon. Knock out at 5.30pm.

Keep going Hillgrovians! I know you guys can do it for the West Zone. Jia You!

1. Revise Biology
2. Chem Worksheet (Note)
3. Maths WS
4. Research for geography
5. Read

and.. Netball training from 3 to 6pm.

*Been busy and tired, will update about life soon.

Happy 2008!