Yes, I know now is in the mids of an early morning. What on earth am I doing here?

No worry, going to hug my bloster after typing this entry. =)

It is a lot of feelings that I am feeling right now. I felt a little disappointed in myself that I didn't do a good job in getting everyone's attention to have my message send across to them. I felt disappointed that I lost the hearts and the connection with them. This was definitely a hard blow for me. Am I going to do anything about it?
A struggle in me to decide on things. Am I ready to take up the challenge? Am I up to the expectation to perform the tasks? Wondering if I should take up the offer...

Poor Jaclyn who needs to share the stress that I am feeling in our work. Not being selfish, but sometimes, I just feel like throwing everything to others. I just feel damn sickening tired out there trying to get things done and yet people are just looking at you hoping that their eye power will help to make progress. Seriously, this feeling is horrible.

I will continue to try. I will continue to strive for that I want to reach my goal.

All right, finally much better after bottling up everything for a day! Phewww....

It's time to share photos.

First Set: We were celebrating cik siti's birthday last sunday.
I wonder who is she killing. haha!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!


ooW???
Second Set: Outing with HGV Netball Alumni

Shawn insisted not to take photo with us. =.=

Third Set: Me and Jaclyn (Jack - lyn)

Things for yesterday:

Note your stepping

Rmb to have rotation ONCE on court.

Rebounce!!

Either run or block, don't stone!

3 F-E-E-T

things for today:
your passes!
block out first, then go for the ball (in the goal circle when with xin yi)
stop hesitating
look out for the dfenders before u pass the ball!!
aim in the game is to have the ball go to your teammate hand without being intercepting by the opponent.
Note your footwork.

Quotes of the day:
There's nothing to lose so just go in and play your best. (By Gina!)
Play like you play netball before!

A bad kid.

This is exactly what I feel I am. I have sort of start to be playful and I know this is extremely bad. I mean some teachers have bad impression of me. I didn't mean to doze off during GP lesson but I can't help it. I mean seriously. I am not getting things done regularly. I am trying to get things rush at the last minute. And I don't feel like studying at all. Homework, tests, assginments, projects.. My goodness!

I just feel that I am so not myself now.

Things for today.
use the mid-fielders.
timing of runs..
ball above all. Ball is the most important thing.
Passes to be improved.
Look out for the opponent!!!
If can't receive the ball, CLEAR away!
Don't think too long. Think and pass.

There's a million and one feelings circling in me.

I decided to cut off all form of communication with you and you. I know this is the only way to get things over and done with.

Well, it is very obvious. It's just so black and white.

All right, since this is what you have expected. The expectation was just too high too be met. Afterall, we didn't have a common goal.

Reality is just so cruel but I just got to cope with it. This is life afterall. I got to expect nothing less than this.

I have no idea where has the passion disappeared to, neither do I know why I am still going to the court. Netball is no longer enjoyable. Probably it is at a much higher level. Maybe not.

I just hate myself for being so last minute. Trying and hoping that everything will turn out well when I want to get things done at the very last minute. I had better change this habit!

Seriously, I have no idea what on earth is it going on between the few of us. Things are turning sour like it had never before. I truly hope to clear any misunderstanding and solve all problems between us.

Have I chosen the right path?

Close this window if u dun want to read this.

I felt fustrated.
I felt angry.
I felt sad.
I felt disappointed.
I felt irritated.
I felt jealous.
I felt that I am a failure.
I felt I was unwanted.
I felt that I am lost.
I felt that I was bitchy.
I felt that I am very dependent.
I suck!

This is the only way to express it.

All right.. I have no idea what on earth is happening, literally.

I have no idea what are the words coming out of my mouth. I have no idea what I am thinking neither do I know what am I feeling. This is totally shitty. I think I just got to isolate myself into my own little room and stay away from the world for a moment.

There seems to be way too much things for me to cope and handle.

Stress! Stress! Stress!

I miss Japan!

I am so sorry and I really feel damn guilty with every single thing that happened today. I am so sorry! I am really very sorry. I understand how you feel. I am so sorry.

I really don't know how can I express my guilty-ness but I am really sorry.

Things for today..
Balls come first.. correct ball wrong balls, must grab!
can't get the ball, must rotate away.
with only one defender, must cut in front.
lob in the goal circle needs to be higher.

Stress!

I felt kind of cheated.

I have no idea how to express what I am feeling. But.. haiz.. nvm..

_____________________________________________________

Stress!

Bring slippers for training!

Homework:
Bio Tut 3 (Fri)
Geog WS(Fri)
CL WS (3)(Fri)
EL article(Fri)
PI 2nd Draft(Thur)

Test:
Chem (Chap 1 - next tue)
Maths (Chap 3 - this week, Chap 3 n 4 - Wk 6)
Geog ( Chap 1 - next mon)
CL ( teng ye xian sheng - next wk)
Bio (Chap 1 - next tue)

Things for today:
Kept turning today then miss the ball. Got to stop turning. Catching the ball is more important!
Got to work with one another. This is not an individual game.
Don't keep waiting.
When the person is not moving don't throw the ball to her.
Know when to run and stop. Know when to run all the way. Know when to stop.

Yesterday went out with the club team for dinner. Not exactly a team dinner actually, only 7 turn up. I agree with what Marianne have said, I think we really need to talk more to one another, we really need to come out of our comfort zone. We really need to interact more.

As for today, had netball in the morning, then came home to rest. I was freaking tired. I think today's game can be played better, in terms on mental. Go JJ! We can do it!

I am sort of tired now. Bye.

I really don't know where is my heart going now. But I am so afraid to disapoint you at the end of the day.

Mistakes made today:
-Must learn how to take hard knocks
-Timing for passes are wrong
-Learn to hold
-Look out for the defenders
-Must care for the ball more than the split

Jia You!

Work for the weekend:
1. Marking
2. Biology Tutorial 2 and 3
3. Maths Tutorial 4
4. English Article
5.Chinese Worksheets

Stop using sacasism. I hate it. I just feel so uncomfortable with the way you talk. Hearing them making feel like blasting off. I also feel like just go and die and stop hearing you talking in sacastic mood. Seriously, I realy had enough. I wanted to talk back so much.

Wo zhen de tun bu xia zhe kou qi.

You never fail to push me down. You never fail to stand up tall and straight besides me.