I tried to break the metal penal.. but the part that I broke seem to mend up again slowly.. every time I see, I hear and I read.. I can't help going away from them.. the metal panel seem to get thicker and thicker.. I tried to get busy to get myself over with it.. but it just don't seem to work..

I tried to follow fate's wish.. but it seem so hard.. I been fighting against fate.. but this time.. the more I fight with.. the more painful it is.. Trying to follow fate but it seem so difficult.. I just can't bring up the courage to face them.. I even have prob smsing, calling, talking to either of them.. I have some stuffs to ask and say to them but I just can't gather enough courage to do so..

I really don't know how to face them when school reopen.. I really don't know.. Ending it nor continuing it is a way for me to face them.. :( ya.. Can I just stop facing the world and leave peacefully??