Netball has never failed to cheer me up,
Make up my mistakes..
Yet, this time, netball only work for half of it..

I seemed so lousy..
The moment thoughts of someone come..
My mind was ruined..

What has the someone did..
Is actually 2 people..(Not my sister)
I do not know how to present myself
whenever she come to my mind..
I lost my way of direction
whenever she appear..
I am scare of her..
Is there anything going to happen to my Netball??
I am scare...

The other one??
He gave me EVERYTHING..
Happy, Sad, Disappointment, Fustration, everything..
When he left..
What's left?
Everything other then happy..
Why can't I be happy?
He was once too important to me..

Who is he?
Why can't I simply said it out?
Cos..
Because..
I am scared..
I am afraid of facing the consequences..

I am facing him almost everyday
Even during holidays.. (Not my brothers.. ~.~)
Cos, even in my dreams, he appeared..

Months and days have passed..
Yet, thoughts have not been forgotten..

After months,
why all of a sudden, so much of him came out??
cos,
I miss him..

How much do I miss him?
All of his msg are kept..
All his picts are kept..
All his words are remembered..
Everything of him remained in my mind..

I really wish 2 years ago..
I don't get to know him..
Don't get to see him..
will everything still be the same..?
When I don't see him, know him??

Haiz..
and Haiz..
and only haiz..

Could I have done more?
Could I have been more devoted?
Or could have have just do nothing?
What's the correct path?
I don't know..
I really don't know..

Thanks heaven..
One more year..
I will leave the sad place..
The place that had too much too much bad memories..

I use to say that canteen is beautiful..
But now, the canteen is just so ugly and empty..

In the past, no matter how bad my day is..
Him and/or netball..
NEVER fail to cheer me up..
But now......

Since I came back from the trip..
I seem sad..
Yes, I am sad..
You can say I write this cos I am AA..
Whatever..
I am emo..
Up to you..

I gotta say..
this trip has told me truth..
Nothing but truth..

Though truth are cruel..
But they are good truth..
They are good truth, why am I sad??
Why??
Cos, I don't know how to react to it..

Life oh life..
Cheer up?
I don't know how..
When everything goes wrong,
How do I face it?
Is this called stress?
I think its call sadness..

Am I the only one feeling such after the trip?
Am I?
If you are, do tag..

How can I make myself feel better?
Do things that I should do?
But that's shouldn't be the way..

Though I feel sad
Yet, I can't cry..
Or, I am not sad actually?
Or it wasn't called sad?
I don't know..
Its up to individual to interpret..
To me..
sad is what I called..

What I wanna do now?
Shout and scream my lungs out..
This seen mad..
But its the best way to get rid of my sadness..
Since I have no one to talk to now..
Don't tell me, I can talk to you..
There is only 2 and 1/2 people
That i can talk to with no fear..
But none of them is available now..

I really hope to talk to him again..
But I know I can't..
Well.. he is not the 2 and 1/2 people..
I never tell him anything about myself..
As in, deep in details..

I still remember..
Last year 15th April..
.................................

But its all over..
Nothing can change..
Cos..
If anything change..
the price to pay is high..
I mean Really High..

Now, it just seem like last year Aug..
Things were bad then..

How bad?
second worst period of my life..

I know its no point being sad..
But I really don't know what to do to pick myself up..

After truth are been discovered..
I am..
Lost..?
I don't know..
my mind..
is just simply...
I don't know..
Yet I need to act as if..
I know..

Who can help?
Only you!
Who?
HIM!
Who?
I don't know..
cos..
I know he will never appear again..
Who else?
The 2 and 1/2 people..
Where are they?
Not in Singapore..
1/2??
Don't wanna talk with this 1/2 person again..

Nvm...

Whoever knows..
knows..
Whoever don't know..
Please don't ask..

Thanks..

......

Here's an entry for netball..

Gathering for HGV netballers..
-24th June..
-East Coast Park..
-ALL NETBALLERS!
-Include current batch of sec 4, Ai ping and Xue ting as well as current HGV Netballers..
-will be meeting Kai Ling
-For more info.. contact Marianne..
-Thanks!

Street Netball Competition
-17th, 18th June..
-Plaza Singapura
-The 2 team Players..
-Please contact me to meet up for training..
-My plan:
-->training dates as following: Today, 13th, 15th June..
-->Time: 5.30pm
-->Venue: a netball court outside school..
-->For more info: contact me..
-Do come down and support us..
-The competition will start at 11am

Ytd, there was NSL at Toa Payoh Sports Hall.. Wonderful!!
Congrats to KaiLing!!

Thanks to 4 pretty ladies out there..
Stacie, Amirah, Sarina and Diyva..

You guys tried your best to brighten the trip for me..
Thanks with love from the bottom of my heart..

I really wanna scream..
I really wanna shout..
Things were worst than I expected..
Life turned into dark clouds..
Never wants it again..
Yet, I don't know what to do..
Horrible feelings made me feel SUCKS..
The world overturned and tell me to stop..
Yet, I have no idea how to stop..

Who am I?
I am no one..
Who are you guys?
You guys are wonderful..

What happened?
Many things..
Have I changed?
I don't know..
But I guess I did..
For better?
I don't know..

What's the main cause?
Partly is this trip that made me think..
Partly is cos of what happened on 12 March..
What's 12 March?
The day, that my love has to be kept..
The day, that I almost lost everything..
The day, that I cried for the longest..
The day, that I never want it again..
The day, that I think that life is evil..
The day, the day, the day..

Why the trip?
Isn't it fun?
Isn't there so many first time?
Isn't it?
No.. all turn all rotten..
Its a trip that I spoilt my own image..
Its a trip that I wanna apologize..
Its a trip that I shouldn't go..
Its a trip that is not for me..
Its a trip that made me know what's in my heart..

What's in my heart..?
My heart only contain evil and evil..
Why?
I guess its what I have been true..
I can't be like others..
Others are good..
I am lousy..

Can someone get me out of this nightmare?
Please..
I had enough..
But I don't know what to do to stop..
I really don't know..

....

I was excited over it..
Happy about it..
Yet, it turn out to be dark clouds..
the darkness cover me..

There was so many first times
yet, the first times didn't really turn out to be good
Wanna thanks a few people who gave me shines

I wil never forget the darkness that cover me..
the situations that I met
make me lost my way..

I really don't know who I am..
I felt so evil..
I felt so sad..
I really don't know what's life..

I sucks..
You hate me..
Its not your fault..

The moment words are out..
I feel so lousy..

I don't know what is call care..
Everything I do is for the sake that I am scared..
I know this is wrong..

I know I am selfish..
Yes! I know..
Cos I feel that life is evil..

For everything in the world..
It seem to be against me..

Whatever I wanna do..
People aren't putting in effort for it..

I really don't know what's life
What's the meaning of it..?
I don't know what am I getting at the end of the day..

Perth good?
Ans: Not too bad..

Enjoyable?
Ans: ok la..

Wanna go again?
Ans: YES!! I LOVE THE BEACH!

Ok.. for the time being that's all for Perth.. when I get picts.. then I update more bt it..

Well during this long journey.. many things happened.. and think though many many things..
I somehow lost my way.. I don't know how to carry myself.. Feeling damn horrible..

Sometimes its wrong to walk away
Though we think its over,
knowing when there's more to say
Suddenly, the moments gone
and our dreams have ended here
and you just wanna change the way the world goes round

Tell me
have you ever love and lost somebody
wished there was a chance to say I love you
Can't you see?
That's the way I feel about you and me, baby..

This was part of my performance.. but I wanna say this to ______

This will most probably my last entry before I turn 15! Cos 2 MORE DAYS TO MY BIRTHDAY!!

These few days, though holi, but still can see me in school.. Today got Solar Car Competition.. HAIZZ.. ARGH!!! haha..

To my dear sis here: I will treasure you man.. I realise something.. I promise to treasure you!
To Pei Yun: I promise to help you in al ways I can just like how my sis helped me.. At least I will give you a hug everyday.. I promise!

I am very excited now man! Over? hehe.. shall not tell first! When I update my blog again then tell.. Blah..

Oh no! gotta go busy first.. update my when I am free..!

Anyway.. THANKS MUM!! THE BEST BIRTHDAY GIFT I EVER GET!

Wasn't in mood to blog for the past few days.. The week was very chaotic.. Well.. its a past.. shall not bother with the chaos..

Holiday started.. I was been asked a funny qn.. Do I have time to do other activities since I am so busy? Of COURSE!! I play netball as and when I want so long I have a netball in my hand.. I go out whenever I wants so long no objection from my parents.. Slack and work hard whenever I want.. You guys may think I am lying.. but well that's true.. just sometimes some of my friends find abit hard to fix into my time.. But I guess I can only have this life till the end of this year.. or maybe this life will end after june.. cos O' level coming.. well.. this is LIFE.. haha

I flare up last Wed.. cos a idiot irritated me to the core.. Buddy, I didn't mean to flare up at you.. This idiot was too irritated that I flared up at my friend.. =(( sorry buddy.. The idiot was giving me problems man.. Idiot YOU BETTER SHUT UP!! Don't want to talk to me then don't even ask me to do things..

Wanna blog my homework as a reminder.. NOT TO BOAST!!
1. E.Maths FYS
2. A.Maths FYS
3. Chem WS
4. CL Bk
5. SS Proj
6. Phy WB
7. EL Assignments..(3)

Been doing the E.Maths FYS.. I spent 2 days to finished it.. 84 qns to be completed.. WOW! that's alot.. (to me) but well.. That's Mrs Tan.. haha.. ok shall go rest liao.. tmr still need to go out.. BYE people.. Sleep well..

*Count down!!-->6 days...(Not to world cup ~.~) *

Well.. i guess many people have mistaken my words.. i am not trying to build up any anger within anyone.. Before I wrote it.. I have a warning.. that if you will be offended don't read.. To the Passer-by.. I am not saying that its wrong to express your view.. and i got your words.. That was just my point of view towards school.. I wrote it when I was angry the other time.. Well.. I guess I have the right to express whatever I feel in my blog right? Same for you.. you have right to express your view too.. Well, I understand what you mean.. and I have also looked at the other view of the school.. =) I said sorry cos.. I have some comments from my OTHER friends..

People.. forget watever you have read.. on the entry that those who know I have deleted.. Its my fault for writing that.. Sorry..

Been BUSY!! today holi still need to go back to school.. =(

rush down to Bishan to buy some stuffs and settle the car.. damn tiring man..

I looked through thw calender if today wasn't a holi.. for the whole year.. none of the thurs wil be a holi.. n i wont miss netball.. grr.. nvm..

To _ _ _ _ _: Take a break when you need it.. don't stress yourself up..

GOODNIGHT!

By having good results.. parents will be happy for the child right?? I told my mum some of my result.. What she said made me feel that I did very lousy.. =( I told her that I am very happy with my Chem result yet she just said.. where did the half-mark gone?? As if.. I am just doing very lousyly.. =(

I got 99.5/120 for chem.. I am very happy for the result.. I was hoping that my mum will be happy for me too.. cos since young my science has been horrible.. but she don't seem too.. =(
Had I done badly?? How good is then call good..???

Did I do really that bad? I was careless.. I KNOW.. I lost 2 marks for nothing I was upset with it.. VERY UPSET.. yet.. she seem like blaming me.. hinting me that I am lousy..

I got back almost all the result.. DON'T COMMENT ANYTHING ON MY RESULT!!

Chem- 99.5/120
Phy- 98/120
Bio- 64/120
Maths- 96/100
A.Maths- 94/100
Social Studies- 30/50
Elective Geography- 15/25
CL(Paper 2)- 71/100
EL- Unknown..

Whole day been playing game and went for a jog just now.. still bad.. 25 min.. die liao.. haiz..

"I don't know if you are reading my blog.. oh well.. just wanna say.. please stop making me jealous.. I had enough of crap from you.. I know your life is good.. I KNOW!! You know OBVIOUSLY he is not online.. then PLEASE DON'T put things that you wanna tell him.."

Goodnight..

MYE has come to an end..

I read many blog on how their owners feel about exams.. well.. MANY said they will fail badly.. I personnelly hate reading such thing.. cos.. many of them said will fail badly the other time (last yr??) some did extremely well and some even came in first.. haiz.. nvm.. exam over.. shall not think too much.. =)

I shall start GAMING now!! haha.. BYE!

Feeling kind of sian now.. Just finish the revision for Physics.. Hopefully the info gets into my head.. haha.. and I AM HUNGRY now.. Ha!! I am influence by someone for this.. haha..

Last time when I stay up late, I will sms someone.. and this someone will be have supper at this "early" time.. haha.. But sad.. now can no longer sms this someone.. night life at home become bored liao..

Talk about this.. Kinda miss those days' life.. Really miss those days smsing this someone.. I had a record of smsing this someone from 1am to 5am!! Was kind of fun.. Will suan4 one another, talk crap, etc.. Who is this someone?? Ha! Shhhh.. Blah..!=P But if you know I am talking about.. sms me again, can?? Thanks..!

Ok.. now is 2am in the morning.. shall have a few hr of rest before go school tmr.. BYE!

Tmr PHYSICS!!!!! haiz.. i got the influence from Li Ling liao.. damn! hahaha.. jkjk..

But seriously I have no idea what to study for PHYSICS.. can never transform the theory into practical.... nvm.. just learn watever can get into my brain..

and tmr is the LAST DAY OF MYE!! Actually it is not smth to be happy abt.. cos.. end of MYE means gotta be busy again.. and seriously I have a very pack schedule.. =( nvm.. its good to experience things while young =)

Now I know why ppl hated Mrs Peng so much.. Ha! I shall not go into too much detail of it..

To all HGV Netballers: Celebration cum Gathering is cancelled..

Shall go and stuff myself into PHYSICS.. BYE!

Just kind of bored now.. can't concentrate on my revision..

Shall just blog facts of tmr exams.. =)

Why British don't let Singapore get independence?
1.For their own interest
-Singapore is a good port.
2.Communist threat
3. Singapore has no natural resource.

Why want merger?
Singapore:
1.to gain independence more easily
2. S'pore is a natural part of Malaya
Malaya
1. to control the communists
2. Singapore got excellent port

Merger Talk:
1. Common Market
2.Loan to Borneo Territories
3.Constitutional Matters
4. Citizensip
5. Special Rights of the Malays

What's the reaction?
Singapore: agree but PAP was splited..
Malaysia: initially at 1950s rejected but in 1961, agree
Sabah and Sarawak: agreed
Brunei: rejected
Philippines:not happy
Indonesia: not happy

haha.. ok.. go concentrate liao.. =(

Damn freaking angry now.. I have been angry since last night with my father..

"Your daughter want to lend a bike from the her friend and keep it at home.. Home got no space"

"Mei ah, you won't have the time to go cycling.."

The first sentence is by my mum the next sentence is by my father.. What's this man?? I am not angry with my mum.. I AM AGRY WITH MY DAD!!! I don't have time?? Come on la! You got see me busy before on weekend until no time to rest?? Have? DON'T HAVE! I want to go east coast you people think that is too dangerous.. I cannot go.. Bro in NS he still can have his bike.. what the hell is this?? It is simply bias.. Last time when want to give away the bike.. I resist and he told me the same old thing: You won't have time to go cycling! Just because my the other bro don't bike means I DON'T BIKE?? Come ON!! I am different! NOw just borrow bike say the same old things again.. 1 DAY I WILL HAVE MY OWE BIKE!! HMPH!!

So damn angry..

You guys make find it silly to be angry over such thing.. but I WANT TO CYCLE!! He NEVER understand what I am thinking..

I serious think that.. have a home equal no home.. go out later thn my mum give mi black face nag and nag.. say until i am bitch.. WTH!.. Ytd, go out until 10+ only then nag as if no tmr.. Ytd, want to go watch match, she don't let, I already didn't go lo.. Afternoon go play netball for while.. COS I can't study! Then might as well go relax la.. Then she say.. You can't have a sat stay at home for 1 whole day.. COME ON!! I HAVE LO!!.. When I stay at home what you want me to do?? The otherday stayed at home, I was bored to death!! So Boring la! I know now is exam.. but still need to relax de lo.. People just simply don't appreciate things.. In evening went out with Marianne, come home at 10+.. then nag and nag.. come on la.. ONLY 10+!!! My bro say will come home at 10, end up come home at 12.. NOTHING HAPPEN! WHAT IS THIS??? I go out not for nothing lo.. I have something to do that's why I went out..

ARGH!!!

A girl so what? Can't stay out late? Can't have a bike?? BIAS!

The other day got even more ridiculous thing... My mum stop me from going JOGGING!! WTF!! Jogging also want to stop me! JOGGING IS HEALTHY!! But I don't care.. I know myself well.. I want to jog!..

If I don't want or I know I shouldn't I won't ask you people to give me permission..

What on EARTH IS THIS?? In a home that there is nothing.. Ok, not nothing.. just that whatever I want to do.. I am not allow to do so..

I know it may seem that I am forcing my parents to give me EVERYTHING.. they don't give its ok.. BUT WHAT FOR GIVE ME SHIT WORDS?? I am still not that angry with my mum.. AT LEAST SHE EXPLAIN WHY SHE DON'T LET WITH REASONABLE REASONS.. But I am still angry cos something that she stop me are quite ridiculous lo.. like go jogging.. I AM THE MOST ANGRY WIH MY FATHER.. Can't have bike cos I WILL HAVE NO TIME!! STUPID REASON!

HMPH! ARGH!!!

Shall do some blogging to relax myself..

Well.. First of all.. sorry and sorry and sorry Pei Yun.. I really didn't mean it.. I sincerely apoplogize to you..

Yesterday went jogging.. damn! 26 min, die off liao.. GRRR.. before that.. my friend made mi damn jealous of him.. he went to watch a netball match and didn't ask mi along then was like telling me what happened during the match.. GRRR.. I am not blaming him for not calling me along.. just that.. I long time no training liao then also due to exam didn't go play netball for a week liao.. After hearing from him, I was like so jealous of him la..

Currently, the date for the celebration and netball gathering is on 12th May.. all HGV Netballers free?? Can try to confirm asap with me? thanks.. Place and time not set yet cos need to the no. of people going first..

I think that's all.. go back and mug liao.. bye!

I think today will be the last day blogging before starting my mugging for Mid-Year..

This few days were having mixed-feelings.. and was BUSY!! How busy am I now? busy till can only sleep for 4 hrs!! BUSY? YESSSSSS!!!!

Ok..On Tues.. had mixed feeling.. I was sad and ANGRY during P.E.. Sad? Lots of memories flashback.. and was thinking of someone.. " Love you always.. " Angry? cos we lost to a sec 1 class!! MY GOD!! sec 1 also lost! Aren't we too lousy? haiz.. Can't blame.. a class with only 9 guys.. HA! made history in HGV.. haha.. After P.E, was in happy mood.. But was somehow still sad.. every single part of HGV got memories.. I just don't know why there was so much memories flashback..

Wed.. BUSY!!!! The oral was still ok.. and we are getting no where in the Solar Car.. AH!!!!! I wanna complaint!! teachers are always giving last minute work.. ARGH! Worse still.. Give answers also anyhow give..! GRR!! as in, don't really bother to go through.. just provide STACKS of answers...

Today.. surprisingly didn't fell asleep.. was like had very little sleep yet can stay awake for whole day.. =) Sadly, today is Mr Fong last lesson with 3E1.. we are back to Mrs Peng hands.. oh well.. let's see what's going to happen.. hahaha.. And.. IS THERE SOMETHING HAPPENING BETWEEN _ _ _ _-_ _ _ and _ _-_ _ _??? ok nvm.. none of my business..

Shall go and sleep now.. Bye!

Today had EL and CL Paper 1.. Chinese, I guess it is still ok.. English ''killed'' me.. I can't understand any of the 5 questions.. The questions for the essay are:
1. Singapore can only depends on itself. Do you agree?
2. Money <-- this qn is MAD!!!
3. Write an occasion where you did something unexpecte but ended up helping someone.
4. (Can't really remeber but I know I strike out this qn)
5. Being a teenager is tough nowadays. Discuss <-- Kill ME!!!

I did Qn3..Wrote a real life love story.. I think you guys can guess what I wrote.. haha.. For the Functional Writing.. DIE!! Introduce Singapore schools to Australian students and tell them how Singapore schools can cater to their needs.. convince them to make Singapore as their choice of stay.. something like that.. can't really remember.. I don't even remember the format for the newsletter.. haiz.. nevermind.. whatever is over is over.. Sian!

Ok, that's all for today.. Oh ya.. before ending.. Female teachers in HGV are being more NAGGY AND NAGGY!!!!!!!!

Good night!

I read a newspaper article this morning.. I got to admire this girl.. She is just an ordinary human like you and me.. Yet she is more unfortunate than you and me.. But she is braver than anyone..

She got tongue cancer and is fighting hard with it.. She wants to live on.. I got to admire her courage.. She didn't try to escape hoping that the problem may solve instead she faced it bravely.. To this girl,Joan: In the world, there is nothing impossible.. you will sure get well.. Always stay strong..

There's something that her ex-schs did.. people in these schools help her to raise fund for the medical bill and tried to help in all sorts of ways..

Keep going people!!!

Visit onlydeepskin.blogspot.com and see wat u can do for her..

just wanna share something.. Here's a video clip of HGV Sec 3 Adventure Camp..

I guess I know what went wrong..

I really don't know who can I find to talk to..

People are telling me I can talk to them if I am finding someone to talk to.. but the thing is there are things that I can't say out.. In fact, there are too many things that I can't say out.. I will land people into troubles.. I will hurt people.. I don't want all these.. I tried my best not to hurt anyone anymore.. cos I know how sucky the feeling is when someone is hurted..

Even if I say out.. can anyone help me? Don't tell me ''say out will feel better''.. For my case, it won't.. trust me.. by saying out and no solution to solve problems.. the matters will only get worse.. so no point..

I am full of problems now.. I saw a friend who is feeling almost the same way as I am now.. I wanted to help her to pick up herself.. but I know that in this state its really very hard.. When u met to many problems at once, its hard to take it.. and its easy to collapse.. What's more.. people think that you actually is problem-free..

To my dear friend: talk to someone that you can.. If you think that there is no one that you can talk to.. approach Mrs Tham..

You have gone far and will never return.. Hope you are safe.. Love you..

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I am going MMAADD!!

I finally realise how hurt I was.. =(

BYE!

Feeling kind of jealous now.. =(

Nevermind.. whatever..

Marianne.. get well soon..

BYE!

Another pict.. it is from the same article.. =) these bread are edible!!
Pict by: Straits Time

Just wanna share a pict.. This face is made up of bread.. Believe?? But anyway, its true..

Pict by: Straits Time

These few days, was seriously feeling that " what's the point of living when it don't make a different whether I am alive anot?" I was really very depressed over this.. When I was depressed, there were quite a no. of people who somehow made me feel irritating and I quarrelled with them...

But I really wanna thanks EC and M.. Thanks for your concern.. You guys made me feel that there is still a meaning living in the world.. Thanks lots.. You guys are fantastic friends.. LOVE YOU GUYS!

Now I am much much better..

Ok, now is "early" in the morning.. Y am i still here? haha.. ok, I was doing homework cos this wkend = no wkend.. everyday need to go out.. but nvm.. ok.. goodnight people.. BYE!

Peace is back.. SMILES ARE BACK!!

Other then was sad when thinking at some sad stuffs.. other then that was happy for today..

Things are more or less settled.. hehe.. current situation is DAMN WANG need to give way.. but i dun noe if she will do it anot.. anyway, HECK!

Today's eng lesson.. so many ppl was "tired" haha.. for those who know.. ya.. those who dun know.. i guess soon u guys will noe.. hahaha

Ok.. need to do work liao.. later if free thn come back again.. =)

Feeling down again.. haiz.. sorry ppl who u noe tt i wrote you on my previous entry.. I will not write abt anyone anymore.. it will onli end friendship..

stayed till 2+ this morning then slp.. been copying something since fri, until this morning thn copy finish..

I seriously feel that, whether i am on earth it dun make a different.. no one bother nor notice me.. so sian man.. haiz..

nvm.. go throw myself to the stack of homework..bye..

This few days bz like mad.. till sick.. =( A short 1 will do..

-Today's presentation, overall quite gd.. quite satisfy with it.. =)
-Yesterday, THANKS FOR THE MEAL..
-Thurs- Sorry Penny..

BYE!!

Shall do some blogging today.. but a short 1.. not free..

-- I really dun noe what explanation to give and I don't know what to choose..

That's all for today.. BYE!

Quite a sian day..

Wasn't in mood to do anything.. In fact, since what happened on 12th March, I can't get into any mood to do things properly. Now do the Social Studies report also do until quite sian..

Through 3 weeks had past but just can't get over it.. On and off get into bad mood easily.. especially when life got quite bad this week. The camp actually lighten me up abit.. but after which, life was quite bad..

Whenever I want to find someone to talk, no one is willing to listen to me.. Only one of my good friend who hurt me the most on 12th March could listen to me.. Like I said, since she was the one who hurt me the most, how much can I tell her?? not much...! Apart from this friend, I have a senior who I respect alot whom I can talk too but didn't really want to stress her up cos she had her own problems too..

On either wed or thurs, I was really sad till I actually cried alone while talking to my friend who was willing to give her ears to me. I think my friend knew it but.. nvm..

I used to have a super good friend?? who is forever there whenever I am sad or angry or whatever, so long I not happy, my this friend is there.. Don't really wanna trouble my this friend now le.. Used to chat with this friend till midnight before ending call.. but now, though wanna chat also don't know how to say.. cos this friend is a male.. and I am somehow afraid to talk to guys now due to some reasons..

I actually had another friend who care quite alot for me. I use to be very very close to her. But for don't know what reason, we started to drift apart. She is really a good listener and give lots of useful advise. However, recently, she started talking to me and when knew what happened she actually tried to console as much as she can.

For my whole life, I only had these 4 friends who actually bother to take the initiative to find our what happened and bother to open up theirs ears for me. Pathetic!

How pathetic canlife be?

I feel like screaming at some people now.

1.Can you please understand my circumstances before you accuse me? I was really busy and wasn't feeling well and you expect me to do a project in one day. Fine, you offer help. but it was late in the night. I didn't want to bother you so didn't tell you. AND u accuse me for not putting in effort and take up too much things then can't do the project. Though I was busy, I do wanted to do the project. If you think I am someone who is not responsible towards projects, fine, next time don't work with me then.

2.Let me tell you, you don't worth any friendship. You got trouble, tried to help you. When I wanted to talk to you, you just can't be bother to open your ears and listen. Fine, I am very grateful that you USE TO open up your ears. But when I want you to give me some advise, you just simply say up to me. I don't know what to do that's why I ask you right? Fine, maybe you are out of solutions, can't give any advise. Ok, at least there was once you gave me ONE advise. Can you be more responsible towards work?? I am tired of doing project with you.. It is more like individual work then group project. You just simply can't give some of your time to be devoted to the project. Next time, got anything can tell me ANOT?? When I know something, you expect me to tell you. When you know something, can you OPEN your mouth to tell me??

3.Can you please SHUT UP in class? You are damn freaking noisy. When on earth can you ever, some talking for a lesson? Talk like as if there's no tomorrow. Wa Piang eh! Come on la, there is always tomorrow to talk! Let me tell you, you are freaking noisy and you are very irritating. Talk so much, when teacher ask you to say out ans.. THERE WASN'T A TIME THAT YOU GAVE AN ANS! Please talk at the appropriate time, can anot? IF NOT JUST SHUT UP!

4.Can you please be more responsible? Please do things PUNCTUALLY!! Always dely daly. Stop dragging time. Please act responsibly. Since you take up something, do that thing well. Don't spoil it. Busy is not an excuse. AND WHEN ON EARTH CAN YOU BE BUSY WHEN YOU ARE DOING NOTHING? PLease la, act responsibly, can anot??

1 number stands for 1 person. 4 numbers stands for 4 DIFFERENT people.

Enough anger and sadness le... BYE!

I have not much idea what to write for today.. Feeling quite upset with myself.. ok, nvm

anyway, WSP is ALMOST finish..

other then this.. Life is quite bad now.. not really in the mood to blog today..

ByEEEe.

Laughter? Smiles? All these are so impossible for mi to have them..

One after another one..

I think it is time to take up lesser things ba.. I found out what's the problem with me.. I got to admit that I am really very greedy. Somethings are not really what I want but I take up because I am jealous and greedy.. How can I kill this greediness in me?

I should learn how to be not so jealous easily.. or I am going to get myself into deep troubles.. Haiz.. Why am I like this?? WHY?? How to change?? HOW??

Been quite upset over this.. and also very stressed up due to my greediness.. I can't blame anyone but myself.. I am like a refugee in school.. kept running whenever I see some teachers that I don't wanna meet.. I am afraid of their scolding and nagging..

I don't what happened. I am like getting too over-sensitive with things and people.. I mean really. I sensitive till the extend that if someone change the tone of what he/she is saying I will start thinking of things.. People who know me well enough will know what I will think..

I seriously don't want to go to school at all.. It such a scary place.. A place full of nightmare..

Anyway, I really want to thank this very good friend of mine.. Thanks for listening to me whenever I need you.. Thanks lots.. At the same time I am kind of upset with one of my close friend. I wanted to talk her so much but she refused to listen and don't even bother to talk to me..

Haiz.. all I can say is.. I really DON'T KNOW WHO AM I NOW!!

Today?? haha.. went to my pay respect to my grandfather who passed away 19 yrs ago..

Morning when I am supposed to go to my grandma's hse.. I almost quarrelled with my mum..

I wanted to go late cos I wanna finished my homework but she insist me to go down with her.. Ok, I go with her.. Before leaving the house.. I wanns wear sports shoes so that I can go for netball directly when i come back.. She asked me why I wanna wear sports shoes.. I told her.. Then she started nagging.. Saying, homework, I don't care, play netball I care so much.. WA PIANG EH!! This may seem childish to many of you for quarrelling over such a matter.. but I was very fed up with what she said.. My bro everytime want to do this do that, she will not say anything, she will only grumble EVERYthing to me.. I am fine with this.. but WHATEVER I DO, she like to scream off my head.. and think whatever I do are not right.. Come on.. I admit there are times that I am slacking with my studies but I still care abt it lo! Though I am the stupidest at home but I still care bt my studies de lo! and PLEASE STOP OBJECTING me playing netball.. Netball is my life.. Without Netball, I am more likely to be on depression now.. Maybe even commited suicide.. Why can't people just appreciate things.. Haiz...

Anyway, things are fine now.. =)

On the bus, something happened that I can't believe it.. My aunties they actually want to sit TOGETHER to talk crap(that's what they said)... haha.. I can't believe that aunties actually do this..

Overall.. today not really a bad day..

Let's recap.. =))

Mon..
THe camp started off with briefing and coming out with a group name.. the initial name was "Auntie".. haha.. cos our class only got 9 guys.. haha.. But Sandra wanna be "sexy".. so it become All Sexy Aunties.. but the guys rejected the name.. Final decision was All Sexy Adrian.. we named after our instructor.. Adrian.. He keep asking us to change the name.. but we insist.. HAHA.. Everything settled.. TIME TO PITCH TENT!!! not a hard job.. The tent is quite easy to pitch.. The structure is much much easy than those I do in NPCC.. ya.. We came out with this.. ____ sexy anot? SEXY!! ... haha.. the ____ can be any word anything.. ya..

Time FOR LUNCH!! YA.. for lunch also got a cheer leh! haha.. This is how it goes..
L:All Sexy?
R:Sexy!
L:All Hungry?
R:HUNGRY!
L:All EAT!
R: EEAATT!!

After lunch.. TIME TO START THE GAMES!! WEEE... We had some teambuilding games.. Quite fun.. There's a part called Spiderweb.. we need to go through part of the spiderweb over to the other side.. The in-charge for the game gave us a challenge: Carry Adrian over.. HAHAHA!! and WE DID IT!!! Oh yea.. before we start the game, the in-charge(IC) asked for the group name.. we told him and he WAS SHOCKED!!! hahahahahaha.. He can't believe it that we actually had such name..
Next in line, RIVER CHALLENGE!!! Though we got wet but we had LOTS OF FUN!! the aim is from an end of the river go to another end of the river.. Throughout the game, we cheered like mad.. hahaha.. We also keep improving on the transporting method.. Completed in the time that was given.. =P..
What's next? NATURE RUMBLE!! but.. raiineed! =( we couldn't have the nature rumble.. Most of us waited for this like crazy but end up raining.. =( Quite sad.. We replaced it with trust game and some guessing games.. THe trust game indeed next TRUST! We had someone falling and people catching the one falling.. There were quite a no. of ppl who were kind of afraid.. but I MADE IT!! weeeeeeeeee We had the game where everyone stand SUPER close and sit down on each other thigh.. this was kind of easy for us.. 2 times.. and end it off.. Some guessing games came.. There was this one how many mae, mae, mae jump over the wall? 4!! hahaha.. and others..
DiNNer! and NIGHT ACTIVITY!! the night activity was scary and fun.. MOst of us are blindfolded.. and we walked into the forest.. On the way, the other instructor, Mitch.. "made some of the girls scream" by making some noise.. After a long while.. haha, Shu qin who was not blindfolded exchange with me.. I WAS FREE!! haha.. this is the first time for me walking in a area that is " Black & White " haha There's a part where we can see the firefly, but our class most of the ppl were so scared that their shoes will get dirty so we did went.. =( I wanted to go so much!!!
2nd last activity of the day was to prepare the item for the campfire.. we had STORM with some song and cheer.. We had our group cheer too..
This is how it goes..


We will, we will,
Kick your butt, make you fart,
all the way to pizza hut,
when you're there,
cut your hair,
don't forget your underwear.
Any sweat, no sweat
chicken feet, HA-HA
underwear wet wet,
don't believe come and check,
check already don't regret!
GOOOOOOOO.. SEXY!!!

Ya.. I love this cheer alot.. Yea!!
The day ended with supper and bathing..and SLEEP!

Not many ppl were able to sleep.. I could only half sleep cos my tent was kind of noisy.. but was ok la..

Tue..
Wake up, morning exercise, BREAKFAST!!
Started the day off with Obstacle Journey.. MOst of the "obstacle" were "spoilt" we made Adrian angry.. =( sorry! Not much comment on this activty..
Let's move on.. we had co-operative corner, Saint Challenge, Command & conquer, initiative games
I can't remember the order.. :P
Co-operative corner, basically is carrying people from an end to enother end.. we had carrying people by hand and also by sticks.. By sticks, we are suppose to take it as a ladder.. and "climb".. The ladder was kind of scary for me.. cos when I was climbing.. it almost "collapse" haha.. cos I am heavy..?? hahaha..
As for Saint Challenge, there were 3 parts to it.. Part 1: crossing an "acid river".. Lots of balance and thinking involved.. we had a hard time coming out with the route to cross.. when we come out with the solution, while crossing the river.. the route was improved.. :) Part 2: blindfold and WALK!! haha.. ok.. not exactly walk but rather cross over an obstacle.. haha.. I had a hard time crossing.. cos I really DON'T KNOW HOW TO CROSS!! Ha! I keep hitting the ropes.. haha.. Part 3: walking on "long flip-flop" hahaha.. Lots of coordination needed.. my group has a hard time walking.. we keep falling off.. Till here.. all the instructors who heard our team name WERE SHOCKED!haha.. they just simply can't believe that we actually come out with this name..
Command & conquer ah.. Build and attack.. haha.. we were divided into 2 group and "attack" each other.. haha.. we need to build a catapult and attack using water bags.. haha.. Had a great time with this activity..

In between there's a lunch break but can't remember when.. haha.. it was our turn to serve and on duty.. haha.. had a fun time serving.. and we sneak food.. haha.. ok.. with permission.. hahaha..

Finally can remember, this is the activity before Rock Climbing.. Initiative Games!! Mitch can't really tahan us liao.. hahaha.. he was speechless with us when we had this game.. hahahahaha..
TIME FOR ROCK CLIMBING!!! weeeheeeee..!! I love rock climbing.. It was drizzling but luckily the rain din come along with thunder nor lightning.. Feeew! =)) I can't complete the whole wall.. =( manage to go half only.. was kind of slippery and my hand quite weak.. =( Manage to climb half of both wall though.. haha.. =) Here, we scream and cheered like mad! And we are really really mad!! hahaha..
Last activity for the games part.. Artspression.. Do a banner.. The IC for this was really shock with our group name.. hahaha.. We actually made all the instructors SHOCK.. hahahha.. The title for the banner was All Sexy E1ss.. Ya!!

Before every game/activity start, we will shout this.. (Instructor's name) sexy anot?? SEXY!!! haha..

Dinner.. CAMPFIRE!!! WEEEE!! the campfire was FANTASTIC!! it was just as good as the concert that I had at NACLI.. scream till most of us lost our voice.. haha.. luckily I din.. haha.. we had dances, cheers, our items..
Here's our item:
L: All Sexy?
R:SSEXYY!!
L:All Ready??
R: REEADDY!!
(10 claps)
We are all so sexy,
so please show us some respect.
(4 claps, ta-ta ta-ta)
Our standard is much more higher than you expect
(4 claps, ta-ta ta-ta)
the drum come in.. (we used pails.. haha)
followed by spoons and forks
and clappings
here come the CHEER!
We are A.S.A(All Sexy Adrian)
We are No.1
We'll make you sweat
Frighten you to DEATH
We have A-dr-ian
We have Mitch
Let us tell you-
WE'RE COMPLETE!!
OoooooooooooooooooH.. SEXXXXXY!!
(SREAMSS)

Woo.. Love this man!! heehee..!
The campfire was really WONDERFUL.. Thanks everyone for putting in effort the wonderful campfire..

Time for supper.. bath ans SLEEP!! but I went round collecting signature.. haha..didn't mange to collect all of them.. =( Finally everyone slept! haha.. I had a chat with Shu Qin before I slept.. What we chatted? hehe.. *secret* haha..

Wed..(last Day) :'(

Wake up, BREAKFAST!! no morning exercise.. hahaha.. Servinng and duty again.. =) and SNEAK food again.. haha..

Strike tents le.. =( we do it quick and sadly.. =(
Followed by area cleaning.. Adrian joined another school's camp le.. =(
Last acticity FOR THE CAMP.. prize presentation..

WE GOT THE BEST GROUP!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHEEEEE

Home sweet home....sad.. we can't say goodbye to Adrian..

Back in school.. Short briefing and go home le.. but WSP ppl need to stay back..=( ok, shall not complain cos it worth it staying back.. =) anyway, I actually went home then come back..

When finish everything thatneed to be done, went to had a chat with Marianne and played LEISURE netball.. here's where I got FED UP with tt DAMN WANG!!

I asked around if NPCC need help, answer given was no.. THEN I WENT TO PLAY!! I ASK THEN PLAY! Damn Wang come and scold me for playing netball in front of the junior cos she thinks that I am trying to send a message telling the juniors that I had 2 CCA.. WA PIANG! What's wrong playing Leisure Netball.. It was like, only 2 people playing la.. She still said.. since NPCC no need help, I SHOULD GO HOME AND STUDY!! GO TO HELL la.. study, study, study and STUDY!! I hate studying after camp! DAMN WANG REALLY SUCKS THE HELL OUT OF ME!

Thu..
Quite tired.. Can't really stay awake.. Din really listen to most of the lesson.. haha.. I start to get into my angry mood when school ends.. Th bio pract come.. I seriously can't be bothered to attend.. I went for the rehearsal.. HMPH! and Netball training.. The Netball training, didn't do much, I only went there for awhile cos, most of the time I was at the rehearsal.. Those who went for the prac. they were let off at 5+.. the 3 netballers missed the training.. DAMN WANG loves TO INTERFERE NETBALL sia.. Can't stand her..

Fri..
I was very drowsy.. can't really be awake.. During PE.. the standing board jump, I can jump till fall.. =( Was really tired.. Last lesson.. DAMN WANG scolded for 1/2 HR! I was blamed and got shoot.. WA PIANG!! She blamed the class andme for not telling her that there is a parade rehearsal.. come on la.. She is a NPCC teacher, how can she don't know that there is parade rehearsal.. PIANG!.. Anyway, we complained to Mrs Peng.. =P

Today..?
Went to gym for 2 hrs!! ya.. on the way there.. wanted to take mrt but FORGOT TO TAKE ez-link card.. end up taking bus and was late for 20 min.. =( When reached home, slept like mad.. Pig!! haha.. and.. I AM 58KG!! OH MY GOD!! I added 2kg!!

That's all.. bye!!

Wow! It been long since I last update.. I have never 1week don'tupdate my blog.. haha.. but anyway.. gonna write a short entry.. need to rush work..

- THE CAMP IS WONDERFUL!!
- ALL SEXY ADRIAN RULEZ!!!
- But MS WANG SUCKS!! HATE NPCC!!

Ok.. that's all for the time being.. I go do my work liao.. Byeee

Shall write a short one.. ha!

I think things are getting better ba.. Hopefully by accepting facts, my life will be better.. haha

Sorry to the whole group of WSP people.. Sorry ppl.. din mean it.. haiz.. was just kinda stress out..

Ok..tt's all.. BYE!

How should I feel now?? How much more news can I handle..? I don't know...

News is coming after one another.. handling all by myself is not an easy task.. Wanna find someone to share but it seem like no one is there to share to.. All news are both good and bad.. I don't know if I should feel happy or sad for the people who gave me the news.. I really don't know..

From the poll I setup, people seem to feel that I am not a good buddy, friend, etc.. Probably that's why I received these news..

I really feel hopeless in things around me.. school, netball, life.. Nothing seem to go right..Just like today's training.. it was to bad that I never feel so hopeless in the team before.. juniors there are so NOT enthu.. Just doing the passes can kill the seniors.. they NEVER look where they throwing to.. I really hope to see more enthu people in netball.. before I quit HGV's netball.. School.. Life is just horrible.. many people think that since I score 1st in class why I am still feeling hopeless towards school.. in school, there isn't just study.. there many other things.. but these things I am just feeling hopeless in them.. Life.. IT JUST SUCKS.. Hate life more than ever.. But I sometimes do still that I am lucky.. However, most of time.. I just simply hate life.. Months and months of torture.. what's the point of living when we are suffering? It would be good that we just die, right? Haiz..

Life oh life.. . . . . . . . . . . (and probably this pict can tell how I feel now)

I tried to break the metal penal.. but the part that I broke seem to mend up again slowly.. every time I see, I hear and I read.. I can't help going away from them.. the metal panel seem to get thicker and thicker.. I tried to get busy to get myself over with it.. but it just don't seem to work..

I tried to follow fate's wish.. but it seem so hard.. I been fighting against fate.. but this time.. the more I fight with.. the more painful it is.. Trying to follow fate but it seem so difficult.. I just can't bring up the courage to face them.. I even have prob smsing, calling, talking to either of them.. I have some stuffs to ask and say to them but I just can't gather enough courage to do so..

I really don't know how to face them when school reopen.. I really don't know.. Ending it nor continuing it is a way for me to face them.. :( ya.. Can I just stop facing the world and leave peacefully??

Happy Birthday, Bro..! Ya, today is my 2nd eldest bro b-day.. :)

Ok, I thought through things.. Since fate want it this way then I shall have it this way then.. yea.. hopefully by this way life will be better.. . . .

For today and yesterday, there's kayaking course.. quite nice and fun.. LOVE IT! I wanna take up 2* course.. anyone interested?? Do join me along.. =) Just now also went for netball.. people there are very nice and fun-loving.. :)

Now, I AM SUPER TIRED!! Goodnight.. :)

I wonder is this all fated..

After I heard the news, things HAPPENED!! When went for the kayaking, I lost my towel.. A white towel, which meant ____ to me.. When I reach home, I realise all the stuffs in my comp was gone and picts in my msn was gone too.. ya.. All the website address was gone too.. The god is like telling me to start life all over again, only leaving some important behind.. Maybe that's what I should do.. But its DIFFICULT!

I really wonder what's the point of living when when you die and you are reborn, you have to START EVERYTHING AGAIN..?? wat's da pt living when you are suffering and you see joys in others..?? I wonder. . .

"You kill my heart. I feel numb. Never want this life again. . ."

Just came back from school.. Today got parents-meeting session.. Result: not much agony with the result..

Result were somehow better than I expected.. I was expecting myself to fail Eng but it didn't.. Feeeeww.. I was expecting to get a B3 for Comb. Hum. but I got an A2.. Ranking for all subject not that bad other than Eng.. 17/35 almost at the bottom half of the class.. lots of hard work need to be put in!! There is only one subj rank that I am not really happy about.. Comb. Hum.. 4/35.. could have done better.. Its all because of Social Studies.. HMPH!! Hate Social Studies!

For L1R5-12points.. SO HIGH!!! here the main killer is Eng, C6.. ya.. lots of effort must be put in! Ya.. Overall for 8 subjects: 1 C6, 2 B3, 1 A2, 4 A1.. Average %- 76

~End of Term 1 Progress Report~

Mid-year Exam's aim--> No C, %-78, Ranking-all single digit!

Ok, need to continue doing homework le.. :( manage to finish only 2 set of maths hw at the moment only.. :(

Many people are looking forward to term 2.. so do I!!

Can't wait for the sec 3 camp!! weeee.. Though I am feeling down now but hopefully life will be better as life goes on.. I just can't wait to either change school or leave hillgrove by any means..

Recently, my temper is very bad.. There are too many factors affecting my daily busy life.. What's add on to my busy life is homework.. 6 sets of A and E maths hw, 2 sets of CL hw, 1 set of eng hw, 1 set of geog hw, 3 sets of chem hw & 1 set of physics hw + CME proj.. OH MY GOD!! How can I finish all this in 1 week?? when... Mon and Tue-Kayaking, Wed- lessons from 8.30am to 4pm!! thu-netball training.. OMG!!

If this is so call holi, then I rather have no holi then..

Thur had bio pract.. ok la.. not as bad as I think.. tried my best to do the experiment.. and at night played netball.. very nice.. but I committed the same old mistakes!! ARGH!! anyway, made lots of new friends.. They are all very nice people to play with.. If anyone is interestd, every tue, thu go to the netball court oppo Bukit Batok East CC at 6pm.. :) ya.. :)

As for today, kind of a nice day.. but with bad mood.. Nice day cos not much lesson, somehow slacked in school.. but have bad mood cos.. things are not in my way.. I kind of feel HOPELESS in HGV.. I have no words to describe HGV.. haiz.. Anyway, just did NPCC service day.. Theme: Handphone theft.. Went to door to door to explain how to reduce handphone theft.. quite a good experience.. First time for me.. cos last year I had a camp clashed with it..

Now, feeling very tired le.. time to rest and/or do the endless homework.. :(

I really want to shut my ears and close my eyes.. so that I can no need to hear and see the painful world till the world is beautiful.....

What i expected kind of come true.. =(

=(=(=( I am really under great pressure now.. If these were to go on, I am really afraid that I can't that it anymore and will collapse.. I really don't wish to see that.. REALLY REALLY Don't Wish to see that...

What will happen if I didn't say out anything? Will the outcome still be the same?? I really wonder what will happen.. But at least I know what's the result.. AT LEAST! ya.. but I really really . . . . . . . . breakdown...

If someone ever ask me, what will I do if the nightmare carry ons.. My answer will be.. THE END! If someone ask me, since I am afraid, then why did I do so.. Because at least I know now that I have wasted 19 months of my life..

I can find no word to describe what I feel now.. I can only say.. to me LIFE = NO LIFE now..

My heart is Xin Ru Dao Ge (a sword cut open my heart)

. . . . . . . . . .(to: you-know-who-you are.. I think its time, that everything between us is over.. Nothing will remain the same..)

My worst nightmare has come true.. what I don't wish to hear has come true.. My heart shed, it bleed, its broken.............

I am very afriad that my nightmare will come continue.. it is really a very scary nightmare.. I really hope that it will stop here.. please stop here..

To: 177471417173

Why is it forever you?? WHY?? Why am I always a step behind you?? Can you please tell me why?? No matter in what, you are always a step ahead of me.. WHY!!!??? Why are you so cruel to me? From school to life.. from life to the world.. you are forever a step ahead of me.. Can't we at least balance up..??? PLEASE!!!!


I really want to cry out loud now.. This is really my worst nightmare that I ever had..

.......................

The week started off badly.. I feel like venting my anger out at someone or something.. but IF I were to vent my anger out, I believe many people will hate me for their life.. I am filled with LOTS AND LOTS of anger now.. I was hoping that by sleeping, I can reduce my anger.. but it no longer works.. =(

Let's talk about today.. I injured myself very very badly.. My neck got scratched to kind of bleed.. My right knee got scratched by tiles till bleed.. my right knee got hit 3 times.. my butt got hit by a very fast ball and now is blue-black.. After Sat's tanning, my skin is kind of painful.. What a bad day!! Lost today's powerball by 1 cone.. :'( And I think I offended many many people.. What's more.. the pain when I was bathing KILLED ME!! The wounds are damn pain!! Till I almost screamed out.. Ya.. that's how bad it is..

Today's life is so horrible..

I found quite a no. of coincidence.. I have 3 friends who are born on the same day and month but different from each other by 2 years.. I found 6 pairs who are borned on the same day, same month, same year but they are not twins!!! Almost all the pairs, each pair is a male and a female! I know 5 people who are born on the same they.. (some of this info cant be found at my birthday calender yet...) That's lots of coincidence, isn't it..? HA!

I spent my whole day with comp today other then doing some drawings.. Went browsing round the net, and I found these info.. If you guys have any coincidence cases do post at my tagboard.. Thanks.. :)

Finally update HGV's WSP, I been wanted to update the datas but was too lazy to do so.. =P

Oh ya.. I browsed quite a no. of JC & Poly website just now.. but I don't really understand what's the meaning of H1,H2,H3.. they sound so complicated to me.. Can someone explain this to me?? Thanks

What can I say about today? Nice, Fun, Sad, or what? I don't know.. I been out for almost half a day (12hrs).. yea.. I don't know I should say i regretted going out today or shall I say I am glad that I go out today??

Many, many things happened today.. I don't know how I should describe it but.... what happened made me disappointed and happy.. haizz.. =

Nevermind.. this is my first time celebratig birthday for people who I _________.. yea..

But sadly to say.. "No one notice, no one knows" As for what's the thing that they didn't notice, they didn't know, they know what I refering to.. yea.. =(

1 lesson learnt today.. NEVER EVER BELIEVE OTHERS.. BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU THINK!!! seriously.. I regretted believing some people.. I REALLY REALLY REGRETTED!!!

=)=>=D=P Smile, smile, and more SMILES!!!

Ha! I am not mad but rather crazy.. HAHA!! Though today stress until almost want to burst out but still feeling very high!! These few days been enjoying myself.. in school, can even sleep for at least 1 period.. HA!

Wed NPCC trg was horrible but still somehow enjoyed myself.. but was like there are times, I matched with my eyes closed.. =P cos on tue i slpt very very late.. Oh ya.. i got back more papers..

Elective Geography: 28/35
Chemistry: 40/50
Social Studies: 15/25

Social Studies was the only subject that i studied like hell yet it is one of the worst score.. =( The other 2 not bad.. :) yea!!

Just now went to watch West Zone Semi-Final.. it was kind of noisy.. The schools that were playing were cheering for their team LOUDLY!! BUt very pity Nan Hua lost to MGS by 1!!! Yes, 1!! I really pity Nan Hua.. they actually have a chance to draw but not enough time.. WASTED!! Aiyaaa..

Hopefully, tomorrow nothing went wrong and can cycle PROPERLY!!.. hahahahaha....

I am still in my horrible mood, which get irritated SUPER EASILY!! I can't stand a second of irritation.. When I get irritated, I will just get into my foul mood...

These 2 days got back CT result.. still ohhhhhkkk....

Bio-35/50
E.Maths-40/40
Eng-18/30
CL-87/100
Physics-29/50

Physics was exactly like wat I expected.. but really din expect to do so badly till the extent that it was a C!! Other than this.. I am quite happy with the rest of the result.. Especially Bio and Maths.. :):):)

Ok, I am going on 4th March IF nothing went wrong.. Things for 4th March was settled at once ytd.. Yea.. all probs were solved.. yea..

Time to go and rest already.. I am kind of tired after today's house practice for the powerball..

How sad and pathetic can life be??

I have never been so moody before.. What happened really crushed my heart into pieces.. Trying to get back my mood.. but it seem so impossible..

I felt that I have lost my way in the dark.. there is no light to lead my path out of the darkness..

Another week end.. Soon 2nd month of 2006 will end.. Soon, 2006 will pass and O'LEVEL!!! Haiz.. Time flies and flies.. Never stop for a second to walk on the ground.. haiz..

Life seem kind of meaningless to me.. I nowadays feel very aimless.. I don't know why I changed alot.. Change to no fighting spirit, character changed and its kind of horrible, times to times I get irritated very easily.. Am I turning bad?? If that's so, before I turned to hopeless, SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!! I am really scare that one day I will become one of the Ah Lian on street..

I don't know why I can feel that people around me dislike me and wish I can stop talking to them forever.. I kind of feeling lonely at times.. haiz..

Once again, I got into my saddest mood.. I really feel like screaming out, cry out loud.. I really don't feel like going on 4th March.. What I wish to do now.. is sleep and will never wake up again.. I don't wish to face to reality.. It's so painful.. It hurts alots.. I feel that I am like back to last year August--after CT2, where everything was messed up and my life were never good again till end of Jan'06..! After a month, thing turned back.. What i hope now is all the mess can be cleared asap..

How much more pain and saddness do I have to go through at one shot before life can be good again..? Not that there can't be sadness and pain.. But can at least the pain and sadness don't drag over months?? The pain and saddness often kill me mentally..

Sometimes, I wish I can have no felings to anything, everything at all.. Whatever things that I heard today and yesterday.. My heart broke.. It's bleeding now.. The painfulness can't be described in words.. I hate this kind of life.. I took a very long time to recover from the other time.. But seem that this time, I will have to go through the same old process of recovering.. :( I regretted doing something.. People always say that if we never try, how can we succeed? But when we know that we will sure lost, what's the point of trying?? Haiz..

Life oh life? what kind of life is it now??

Now is the 2nd last day of CT.. 2 days finished 6 papers.. Everyday doing quite badly.. HA! HECK! I somehow can't be bothered with the result.. Serious.. I seriously not in mood to study at all.. What's more? I even go and play netball during CT at my pri school.. :P I am not mad nor crazy or whatsoever.. I seriously don't feel like studying at all.. For people who don't believe that I slack at home, you will see it from the result..

To all p6A'03 people: Holiday, gathering? I can't wait to see you guys again.. Long time didn't see many of you le!! The other time going to Sentosa was less than half of 6A'03.. Hope that you guys can come and have a gathering during March holiday.. Do tag at the tagboard or sms me which days you guys are free.. Thanks LOTS!!
Just now when go back to bvps, I wore the jersey that I had went I was in pri school, the sercurity guard thought I was that school student.. HAHAHAHA!!

Enjoyed myself at BVPS today.. That's the "mei li" of BVPS.. :)

Shall write a quick short entry.. Now take the break to write a entry.. HA!

-Bad news, bad news and more bad news..
-Week started off very badly..
-I am very pissed off today after school
-COMMON TEST IS TOMORROW

Bye...

Let's make a conclusion for this week.. this is one of the better week of 2006.. It is not easy for me to have good week.. serious! Life has been quite horrible for the past few weeks..

Really LOVE this week alot..

Yesterday went to look at how the competition looks like.. so that more or less we know what to take note next week.. But yesterday weather was serious horrible.. In the late afternoon, people kept running all over the place.. cos.. the rain come and stop, come and stop.. For 3 times before the rain "settle" down.. Our school, the guys team.. Not bad la.. Though not 1 of the best but can see that they have tried their best..

Just now look through my pri sch autograph book.. Reminds me of lots of things.. I miss the time when PSLE is over and we played captain's ball together.. Though we do quarrel sometimes but the fun there was GREAT!! Those days were fantastic.. Haiz.. Time can't go back.. Just hoping can have a gathering with them soon..

Ok, that's all for today le.. Need to study..

I am kind of tired now.. Didn't get to have great nights for a week already(other then MON.. :)) Shall write a improper blog.. :p

=Was in bad mood today..
=First time in 2006, I did homework in school.. DAMN!
=2.4.. 15min.. :) :) :), last try-16min
=School was horrible.. I almost got into deep trouble..
=geog meeting: Update of datas? (nothing much cos ONLY Penny and I)
=NPCC trg: HORRIBLE, HATE IT!!

This is the end of today's entry.. I am too tired to write a longer entry.. Sorry.. :(

a trip back to BVPS was FANTASTIC!! I have been for months didn't go back already.. Wanted to go back during the eve of the CNY eve but that day got NPCC trg.. :(

Today suppose to meet up Ms Leong for lunch at 4pm.. but the stalls are closed and can't find her.. I MISS THE FOOD IN BVPS!! the food there is so much niceer than my sec sch.. But still manage to meet up with her and chatted abt life and other stuffs.. Thanks for the drink, Ms Leong.. :)

After chatting, went to have netball there.. I at first thot no netball but have.. :):):) see the juniors play.. SO CUTE!! When playing with them, I was playing center.. -.- I have never play center before.. This is the first time.. GOSH!! stamina need to be improve.. :( and committed mistakes lik stepping, ball thrown behind the catcher..But luckily change to GS.. Much better.. But shooting need to be improve.. Ya!!

Oh ya! Mrs James cut her hair.. SHE LOOKS VERY CUTE!! but sadly can't chat much with her.. :( Met Ms Ong too.. I almost forgot how to address her.. Oops! =p There are quite a no. of new faces of the teachers that I dun noe.. Anyway, there is a retired tcher bck in BVPS!!! Mr Foo!! I was surprise to c see him.. At the same time, some familiar faces are gone.. Like, hmm..Miss Goi, Mrs Yang and more.. can't rmb.. Today, I go back quite late that's why din get to c many tchers.. :( SHALL GO BACK SOON!! or shall I say.. MUST GO BACK SOON!!

I notices that BVPS has LOTS of vending machines round the school.. I mean it.. REALLY ALOT!! How I wish HGV can have ONE vending machine and tt's enough! But I know this is impossible.. nvm..

Walk home with Ms Leong just now and continue chatting.. HAHAHA!!

Thanks LOTS to Ms Leong for today.. Hope to see you soon!

Recently can write blog quite often.. :):> I am writing blog almost everyday.. YEA!!

Today had In-Place Protect(IPP) pratice.. we were to stay in the class with door, windows and the metal pantel taped-up for an hour.. I swear like mad.. cos the weather is freaking hot!! We missed half of geog, 1 period of chem and CME.. :( But completed quite an amount of homework.. :)

Nowadays life in school is getting better and better.. :) But I need to sorry to quite a no. of people.. I need to do certain things because I have to do it.. Hope you guys understand..

A BIG THANKS TO MR CHUA!!!! Thanks for today's lunch.. Thanks lots!!

What a lonely Valentine Day.. haiz.. haha.. but indeed lonely! Was like doing everything alone today.. and..what I wanted didn't come true.. :'(

People around are all in couple.. friends around me have someone to celebrate Valentine Day with them.. so envy.. How I wish I can be like them..but nevermind..

Let's talk about what happened in school today.. Had fire drill practice.. everyone was like having fun out of it rather then having the practice.. HA! Lessons today were fine other then almost fell asleep during Physics lessons.. After school, have campcraft training, we do quite well today.. finish everything in 10 min.. :) last best record was 13min.. When ms wang know about this, she was being very sarcastic.. Like what the hell la.. got improve still sarcastic.. haiz..

After which go West Mall(again!!), to buy some stuffs.. today was like 1st time in 2006 buy so many things at West Mall.. Bought book, ear stud, food and pen.. and back at HOME!!

OK, life in school is SLIGHTLY better.. not that bad as last week.. :) YEA!

Just now went to do the geography proj.. till 4.30pm.. today nothing much other then complain alot.. HA! but seriously.. this is the 1st time I complain so much about the proj.. :P

Today, got back Maths Test.. Damn dustrated with the result.. GRR! cos of a "x" 1 mark gone.. somemore the ans can be copy from the qn paper.. ARGH!! Should have gotten full mark.. I am super unhappy with my stupid mistake.. -.-```

Ya, scanned lots of pict of the past into my comp.. really alot of picts.. abt 20 i think. Ha! look at past picts.. got many are damn funny.. haha.. Really miss though days.. *sob*Haiz.. but what to do.. time can't reverse.. I can never enjoy those days again.. Ssaaaddd..

Ok, enough for today.. must go "work hard"(as if, HAHA).. bYe

Weehee.. Someone is finally back to the old-self.. :> Ya! I hated the new-self.. New-self is so scary and unfriendly.. Old-self is so nice!! Hopefully can continue to see the old-self.. :)

A new skin is out.. Mostly I will use this skin till June before I change again.. I am still working on the skin.. still not to the standard I want. I have somemore faeture haven't add in yet.. Like: birthday dates, other links and more.. and i trying to fix in the code to change the navigation letters colours.. When it is fully done, I will officially annouce.. HA!

This wkend is more organize.. Can do the homework before Sunday's night.. hopefully this will continue for MONTHS!! Till then I can't really get over the sadness of Marianne's batch is leaving the team.. It is really sad for them to leave.. They are the closest people in hgv I met.. Haiz.. gonna miss them like hell.. Haiz.. :(

A new week starting, gonna be real busy.. ok, now better go rest before I am lack of sleep for another week..

*CRY OUT LOUD*

Time flied.. tournament ended.. no match that I will be playing with Marianne's batch.. :( Goona miss them.. LOVE YOU GUYS!! YOU GUYS ROCK!! A few more trgs and you guys will disappear from trg.. *cry* Really very sad to have you guys leave the team..Haiz.. Time oh time.. CAN YOU PLEASE CRAWL?? :'(

Today's matchs.. NICE!! though lost but we lost beautifully.. I saw what HGV Netball Team is.. All of us played to our best today.. This is very true.. NOPE OF US SLACK AT ALL!! score: 4 VS 58.. 1st quater 0 :( after 1st quater I thot we are going to have 0 for that match.. but we work hard.. 4 GOALS!! it may seem little.. but it meant ALOT to me.. REALLY ALOT!! Everyone really do very well today.. VERY WELL!!

Ok..stop here 1st.. go for dinner then come back..

Today shall write a long and proper entry.. Though now is tired after self-trg.. but nt as tired as yesterday.. :)

Seriosly, sorry all readers for the improper entry for the past 2 days.. Past 2 days i was really very tired that I have not much energy left to write a blog.. especially yesterday.. Yesterday was my 1st time playing GA for half a game.. I was surprise that I can survive for so long..cos my stamina SUCKS!! I wanted to play GS so much but Ms Koh and Mdm Chan don't allow.. I played GA quite horribly..especially last quatar..but I understood more about GA.. (still nt enough though).. During last quater.. I was very fustrated cos I can't put in any balls at all..The last ball I shot.. I screamed.. Yesterday we can actually win.. I believe we can win.. 1st quater we draw.. 5, 5 but don't what happened.. after 2nd quater, the score differ by 9.. GRRR end of match differ by 21.. :( This should not happened yesterday.. SORRY EVERYONE!!

Before I continue my entry.. Sorry Val, but I hope you understand why am I doing so.. Cos I want you to play tomorrow.. I don't understand why you seem not willing to play.. I want you to get experience.. Hope u understand..

Today was kind of hyper in school but was kind of fierce as well.. haha! Last night slept very very early.. 1st time in 2006 slept before 10pm with homework finished.. that's a miracle.. but someone called to my hp twice.. I have no idea who this person is.. cos I was so tired that I was unable to hear the vibration.. Sorry.. Whoever called.. please call me again tonight before 11 if there's any important..

Sorry Shu Qin, I know I am damn bad to let you do the printing alone.. SORRY!!

In school, can be awake for all lessons but not Social Studies.. Haiz.. I wonder when can I 1 day in school don't feel tired..?? But I love Mrs Chua lesson.. NICE LESSONS!! :):) Just now had self-trg from 3-6pm.. Played all sort of position just now cos not enough ppl..

I thik that's all for today.. Btw, to those who actually people playing bball this Sat, the game is cancelled.. Sorry.. :(

Any short entry today.. sorry readers.. I m just too tired to write a long entry..

-We could have won.. GRR :'(
-Score: 10 VS 31.. :( COuld have put in more.. its all my fault.. Today is really my fault!! :(
-Sorry everyone..
-Missed NPCC trg today.. (cos of tournament) Heard that they chose ppl for the speech day le..
-Last of all.. Sorry KaiLIng..

THat's all for the time being.. SORRY EVERYONE!!

Shall write a short entry today.. Now very tired le.. Need to have LOTS of rest..

-went to watch I Not Stupid 2
-cried while watching
-a very nice show
-LOVE THE SHOW, Highly Recommended
-Today's school: BORING!!
-Dying of boredom
-NPCC trg..didn't practice much.. most of time playing bball
-Now need to go rest le.. BYE

PLEASE WIN TMR MATCH!! THAT IS MY ONLY REQUEST FOR ALL HGV NETBALLERS!!!

This current skin.. just to replace the CNY skin for the time being.. I thik that the CNY skin not niecly done.. Doing another skin now..

Today's match.. HORRIBLE!! HORRENDOUS!! HOPELESS!! HORRIGIBLE!! Lost.. 1 VS 52!! oh my god!! partly is my fault.. could have score another 4.. haiz.. Oppo team gt a very irritating person.. I hated her... haiz.. but nvm.. whatever is done cant be undone.. :(

Ok.. continue to write more later at night.. I need to go n bath now and go WATCH MOviE!!! WEEHEE!! :)

Feeling very sian now.. so decided to write a entry.. Here's a entry to vent my saddness.. :(

Just went to Pei Yun birthday.. on the way home.. saw many couples.. they are so lucky to have someone to care for them love them.. I may still young for BGR at the moment.. but there is something that I am very envy of all the couples..that is they ARE COUPLES.. When one of them is sad, someone is there to cheer he/she up.. when he/she is happy, there is someone to share the happiness with..

Haiz... recently someone very unhappy with me.. haiz.. No one can help me.. No one can understand how i feel.. There is no one that I can share my saddness with... (not that I want to complain my saddness out, but at least someone is there to cheer me up without listening)

Cos of the CCAs clashed.. Many many things happened..
1st: I got someone into lots of trouble
2nd: "fought" with a teacher
3rd:Unhappiness with a teacher got deeper
4th: someone got me into deeper trouble
5th:Someone become very unhappy with me.. thinking that its ALL my fault
6th:I am "controlled" in one way or another
7th: Misunderstand with 2 people got deeper
8th:I hate this kind of life..

Just because of a matter, so many things happened.. haiz.. I am hoping that days after new year could be better.. but things seem to be not like what I want.. :( I seriously feel like crying out so much now.. But who can lend mi a shoulder to lend on?? Haiz.. I want my life to be like before last year Aug.. life then were PERFECT!! I miss that life..

Life oh life.. what's life? Am I fated to such life for long term? Why??!!?? Can I have a better life..? PleaSE!!

What can I say?? These few days.. MANY MANY things are happening.. But first of all

To Marianne: Sorry, other then sorry, I really don't what to say.. Once again sorry..

On Fri, had a super tiring day.. What happened was..In the afternoon, had a geog project meeting with the Senoko people.. they said that we were on the right track at the moment.. :) BUt there are many things that we can improve on.. :) Hopefully all our effort will not be wasted..

To NPCC people: PLEASE UNDERSTAND why I didn't go for training(s) or LATE for trainings.. It is my fault for getting involve in things that are clashing with NPCC trainings.. But I hope that you people can understand..

Now I have a problem persuading my father to let me go to a camp in M'sia.. :( I want to go M'sia alot.. Cos I have never been to M'sia before, or rather I shall say I have never go out of Singapore before.. I have been to Sentosa TWICE only.. Haiz.. My father thinks that M'sia is a very dangerous place cos there are Singaporean who went to M'sia and they went missing there before.. so it is very dangerous for me to go as well.. haiz..

Before I end this entry.. To Pei Yun: Happy Birthday!!

To: you-know-who-you-are

Please, please, please tell me what you want? Wanted to talk out things with you but you do not seem to bother, listen or care.. Now that I make a desicion, you seem unhappy with it.. So what exactly you 1 mi to do? can tell mi?? I do not wish to see any war(s).. I am really very stress up with the problems already.. Things are getting better when all of a sudden you drop me a bomb.. I mind what you think, what you feel.. If I have did something that you think is not right, can we just talk things out.. come out with a solution.. PLeaSE PLEase PleASE.. I do not want to see any black face anymore.. not that you don't have the right to show black face.. but before you do so, can we have things talk out? I was really upset when I saw the face you gave me yesterday.. Any unhappiness, please say it out can???

OK, I'm bck! haha

Just now my uncle and his family came.. Had chatting.. makan, play WEB-game.. haha

OK.. just now went to read some of my friends blog.. most of them seem so sad so troubled.. Specially one of them, named Jeremy..(view his blog through my link) In his blog, he worte till very vey sad.. Some other stories, some are somehow similar to my situations in the past.. There are also blogs that are writing something happy.. Like Aiping...

I WANT TO GO WATCH I NOT STUPID 2!! WHO WANT TO GO??

and before I forget.. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

These few days the New Year.. ok lo.. haha.. nothing much to say about it.. Practically doing the same things lik last year.. other than this year went out later thn the past few year.. cos my bros n I.. ALL OVER SLEPT! HAHA!!

After visits come home, DO HOMEWORK!! oh ya.. on the 1st day of new year.. I was shock to receive some "weird" sms.. got someone EARLY IN THE MORNING, 7+ i thik..sms mi ask mi geog test stuffs.. aiyo.. thik too much!! haha.. thn on 2nd day..

Now go serve guests 1st.. l ater than continue! :)

Thanks to all the people who are concern about me.. I am much much better now.. Thanks lots..

Today temp wasn't as high as yesterday le.. mostly between 37-38.5

MADE A NEW SKIN TODAY!! DO rAte.. :) Rating: 10.. :) I made this specially for New year.. :) Hope You guys like it.. :)

Now need to rest le.. before the temp shoot back again.. -.-

now having fever..39.3.. ytd night alr from 38.1 lower to 35.9, 36.2..but in the morning shoot back..now is damn cold!! GEEERRRR!!ytd.. after recess go home le.. cos was having serious headache n hav slight fever..

Anyone has any method that can get rid of fever?? I tried eating pandanol, see doct, have ices on my forehead, keep drinking water.. All these method dun work.. haiz.. if any of you have any methods please kindly tag at the tagboard.. THANKS!!!!

Real tire now..Till the extent that can hardly open my eyes.. Today played against Unity Sec.. Result 13VS 42.. though lost but still quite satisfy with the result.. at 3rd quater scored 6.. :P

Nowadays the sch SUCKS.. I HATE THE LIFE.. IT IS SO DAMN HORRIBLE!! I really wonder am I really going to continue this life forever?? if it is so.. seriously.. I rather dun go to school..Seriouly hate school now.. HATE!!!

Everyday just wish to have school ends early but it seem SO IMPOSSIBLE!! GRRRRR! Haizz.. but what to do?? no choice..

Ok, need to go and do some stuffs and have a rest cos my back can tahan for long le..

Feeling so bored now.. haiz.. BEEN DOING HOMEWORK FOR THE WHOLE DAY!!

Now still doing Eng, but seriously dun noe how to do it!! GRR!! Sian sia.. haiz.. Tomorrow need to go back to sch again.. Nowadays HATE SCHOOL MORE THAN I HATE ANYTHING!! but wat to do?? haiz..

Ok.. better go back finish Eng n go SLEEP!!!!

After all arguement and unhappiness.. I got "settled" down and played the first match yesterday.. as in a complete match.. Score.. 46 VS 4.. we lose.. :( I am not really happy with the style I played.. Especially last quater.. it SUCKS!!

Mistakes: Passes got problem, shooting in the last quater was horrible, rebounces.. HAIZ!! all these I SHOULD NOT COMMIT!! Tomorrow I MUST NOT COMMIT THEM AGAIN!!! So "old" already still can have all this mistakes!! GRRR!

When CIP after the match, so damn tiring! Went to Chinese Garden MRT station to do collection.. NOt bad la.. cos there only Calista and me.. :>Finish at 3pm with the tin 3/4 quater full.. (= By then, was really tiring but at night there is still another event..

The whole team (almost the whole team) together with our DEAREST coach KAILING.. We went out for dinner together.. Initially, we can't decide where to go for dinner.. Decision: GO TOWN!! Had lots of fun on the MRT..

THanks lots to Kailing for treating us the dessert.. THANKS!!

Reached home at 11.15pm.. GOSH.. break my previous record.. the other time the lastest I reach home was 10+ only.. haha..

Ok, need go and RUSH homework already.. still have, chem, chinese, eng haven't do yet.. GRR

Solution was given to me this morning.. I HATED THE SOLUTION.. It is a solution that has no solution.. All i can say is the RED DEVIL is controlling me.. I HATE IT!!

After which, I APPEAL!! HMPH!

Final solution: In the next few weeks, go for Netball.. after which then shall see.. but mostly if we get into 2nd round.. I can't play.. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?? However, I insist in quitting NPCC if anymore unhappiness.. Ya.. and that will be it if anymore unhappiness.. M!

Things are settled for the time being.. haiz.. future? haiz.. Wonder what will happened.. All I can say is I was stupid for joining NPCC.. I should not have joined in the first place.. but its all too late.. THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO NOW.. haiz...

This is the 100th entries.. But it is very sad and angry entry..

Since yesterday I had this question in my mind... Netball? NPCC? I can only choose 1 now.. Both had crashed together.. I have no idea what to choose..

Netball is my life.. I am only happy when I have Netball.. In another words, I need Netball to survive.. I may not be needed in the team now cos there is still Marianne.. but I play for the sake of my passion..

NPCC is... I have no idea what is it to me.. But I feel stress when I go for the trainings.. At the same time, I would say NPCC do let me learnt something.. And NPCC was what made me to be close with people in Netball.. I go NPCC cos they have some duties for me.. I would not say they need me but rather I need to be grateful for what NPCC gave me..

It is only now that I have scarifice either 1.. After the tournament, I can have both.. but I was force to scarifice 1 of them now.. Why is that so..? Must the situation be so cruel to me that I HAVE TO SCARIFICE either 1?? Why can't just the NPCC be more understanding and give me a way out..?? Why is it so difficult?? Whatever the rest learn during training, I can learnt after school on other days.. and Why is NPCC blaming me for things that I have done it correctly??

WHY?!?!?!?!?!

Ok, had the first match of the year today.. VS Regent.. None of us won or lost at the moment.. COS THE MATCH IS POSTPONE!!!!!! to this sat.. 8.30am to 9.30am.. damn it.. morning I can't play properly de.. GRRR!! Nvm.. shall still try my best if I am on court...

On the bus, we are kind of mad.. haha.. Ya.. all of us were telling all kind of jokes.. haha..

To Marianne: Hope you get well soon, we need you..
To all HGV Netballers: Take care, try your best not to get sick..

Everyone in HGV Netball Team.. Must play our best, ok? JIA YOU!!


NETBALL ROCKS!!

Just come back from Chinatown.. :)

These 2 days been doing lots of shopping.. Yesterday went to some Pasung Malan and to some shops that sell clothing.. today went to Jurong West which is full of CNY's stuffs and Chinatown :):) Ate alot today!! haha.. gonna get pump soon... GRR!! haha..LOVE THE FOOD IN CHINATOWN!! heehee..

Ok.. that's all for the time being.. VERY TIRED now.. :( haha

OH MY GOD!! WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?? WHY IS MY SHOOTING SO HORRIBLE!!

Today after school, once again had netball training..Started off with jogging for 20min (think so).. followed by courtwork.. The seniors were teaching the juniors.. Juniors arh.. Quite good.. there are many potential players..

Other than teaching the juniors.. we also practice down the court as well.. MY SHOOTING SUCKS!!haiz.. It was worse than yesterday.. GRR!! Anyway.. I FINALLY KNOW HOW TO DO DODGES!!! Dodges may seem to be an simple action.. but for a long time no matter how I dodge I can't get rid of the defender.. HMPH! But luckily.. today my dodges improved.. can get rid sometimes.. (better than none, like the past..)

I am so tired today.. But worth it.. :) Ok, gonna go rest already.. Need to have a good rest.. =P hehe..

Finally have time to write my blog le.. feeew..haha

Been busy solving problems.. and got very pissed off these few days.. Ytd.. what I expected happened.. CCAs crashed and end up NPCC people not happy with me.. I REALLY HOPE THAT YOU GUYS CAN UNDERSTAND!!! anyway, after the tournament.. I CAN HAVE BOTH CCAs ALR!! :):):>:>

Yesterday, we also know who are down for the tournament alr.. I don't really like the combination.. MY SHOOTING SUCKS!! Gosh!! Tournament round the corner still like this.. GRR!! But seriously.. I am like.. 2 weeks DIDN'T do any shooting AT ALL.. wa piang!! haiz.. Must practice!!

tt's all for the time being.. need to go rest liao.. tmr still have trg + sch..

Had a "long ride" today.. haha.. Ya, had a long MRT ride to Tampines Mall just to get the Eng tb n wb.. spent 2 hrs on the MRT.. grr.. Anyway, Christine and I bought the last 2 tb in the whole Singapore.. (as in the last 2 in popular of the shopping center)

Today's lessons: boooooorrringgg!! Dying of boredom!! Please help me!!

Nowadays been very busy.. Last year a week can write about 4 to 6 entries, now only 3 so you guys can roughly imagine how busy I am nowadays!!!

Went to help out in the sec 1 orientation camp on fri and came back today.. The new sec 1 are kind of pampered.. and quite a no. of them don't respect and listen to their seniors.. haiz.. I scream at them until I got sore throat last night.. By the way, I found a guy name Dragon!! He can shout very loudly.. REALLY VERY LOUDLY!!

The camp.. ok la.. AT LEAST they got camp.. my year no camp.. nothing.. after my batch then have camp.. GRRR.. haha..

Today, I actually wanted to sleep till 6am but the sec 1 were making so much noise that woke me up at 5am.. They can sleep, don't want to sleep.. In late morning, had cca open house.. This year I didn't really bother to go and ask people to join unless those I think they are potential people when I saw them play captain ball yesterday..

At the same time also receive bad news.. NETBALL IS ON WED!! GRRRRRRRRRRRR!! I AM GOING TO DIE!! NPCC IS ALSO ON WED!! What should I do now? I really don't know.. even the person who normally has lots of ideas that can help me also "brain dead" already.. As in, the problem is so serious that no solution to it.. haiz.. :( I am going to get scolding or nagging for an hour next week.. HELP ME!!!!!!!!! I don't want to get nagging nor scolding!!!

Anyone who think they can help me please tag your suggestion at the tagboard.. THANKS!!

Yesterday I was too busy to come online.. Yesterday first day of school, yet I am so busy.. :(

All I can say is the year started off badly!! Out of all bio classes, only my class Ms Wang teach.. grr.. For other subjects.. during lessons the atmosphere is damn tense!! Haiz.. Hopefully we can get noisy abit as the year goes.. :)

Today, CCA started today.. NPCC was kind of boring today.. Nothing much..

Shall update more some other day.. need go and rest already.. :)

Here's my very first entry for 2006 :)

2006 is going to be a very challenging year!! Cos, I am taking up new subject.. have dreams to fulfil(wonder if I can fulfil it!!??)and lots of new things to come by.. I had made some resolutions, promises and aims..

1.Must brush up my languages!!
2.Be in my fullest in all netball training to produce the best result!
3.Learn to have higher level of tolerance
4.Work hard at all times to produce good result (academic)
5.Be a national player (can I do it??)
6.SAVE UP MONEY, by Dec at least have $50 saving!!
7.Try to balance everything
8.Try to spend as much time as I could with my family
9.Hope that HGV Netball can continue after Marianne's batch step-down
10.Last of all, my Netball career can continue FOREVER!!